The Disease that Killed Love Book II
by Rosabell
Summary: Sakura and the gang found out what Syaoran is going through. The question now is will Syaoran survive? Is the power of friendship and alliance strong enough? R+R please.
1. Chapter 1Yue

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 1-Yue

I had never been more relieved to see my son still alived, even more so, standing up, smiling his brightest smile, a smile he had not put on until we acknowledged each other. I had to pick him up, weigh him at the same time. He's forever losing weight. Some people would be envious, but it was deadly. I frowned.

I perhaps, expressed and felt more emotion for this child than I ever had, even towards Clow Reed. But that I cannot really compare; I no longer really remember. Before, I had a father. This time, I am one.

Jingxi had stayed home the other day, because of the pigtails. I had never said the word before, but when Syaoran told me I really wanted to say ' kawaii!'. Yukito said it for me though, sparing me the necessity.

Syaoran was very happy that day, and stayed home willingly. It made me feel so warm, knowing my child was glad I was here. I transformed to my true form when Yukito had gone up to put his things away. I came down.

We just spent the whole day talking, Xuyan beside Syaoran. Jingxi told me about soccer practice, how Yamazaki never got over talking too much and how he kept on fooling Xuyan. About how Eriol once hit the ball with his head and his glasses fell off, leaving him looking around blindly. They told me about Sakura who never got out of the habit of lateness although it was all Kero's fault. They told me about the time Sakura stamped Fujitaka's foot, thinking it was Touya. So excited they were, I didn't miss college at all, although it was a rather new experience as well as an exciting one, stressful though.

That night, Xuyan went to bed, very tired. Syaoran stayed up with me. We talked. 

Then Syaoran wanted to go out. We went outside. No one was there.

" Can we do it again?" He asked me. " I loved that feeling." He looked at me hopefully.

How could I refuse?

I gathered him in my arms and flapped my wings. We rose, high, above everything, seeing everything, the world was so small. And I remembered how Syaoran was able to glide in the wind, so good he was at it. So I let go of him. He glided above me, and I flapped my wings. He soared with it, the updraft, and I flapped again and again. I heard his laughter, so full of delight, a little child, simply enjoying what he has.

_He's so definetely not going tomorrow._ I had thought. I glided down, Syaoran followed, the updraft missing. We glided down, away from Tomoeda, away from the cities, straight into...

The woods was peaceful, quiet, silent, as if all were at rest. I knew they weren't, though, and I held Syaoran's hand.

" What's that?" He pointed, whispering.  
I looked. He had good nightvision, and he had saw what I later saw. A large black hole in the midst of rock. A cave.

" Can we go look?" He asked.

I was a little uneasy. I didn't like enclosed spaces. I was not claustrophobic, but I just don't like them.

" Alright," I agreed reluctantly. After all, we had all night. I was too careless that night. Way too careless. Normally, I would have avoided going in that cave, especially with Syaoran. But that night, something drew me in. Like mind control, I _had_ to go in, just as Syaoran did.

  
  
It really wasn't like me. I was usually cautious, alert and tense. But that night, as we ventured towards the mouth of the cave I felt only a childish curiosity, a strange excitement, almost like I was discovering something new.

Once we went in, all the moonlight was blocked out. I created light within myself and saw where we were. The cave was like a huge hallway, connecting several chambers. There were carvings, people I didn't recognize. People I didn't know.

We went deeper, daring ourselves. Syaoran clutched tightly at my hand. Our footsteps echoed down; there was something magical about this place, magical, fascinating, eerie.

And before we knew it, we were quite lost. Not because we weren't careful. The passages moved, and closed behind us. Syaoran cringed against me, afraid, scared.

I offered a little light with my moon magic, however dim it was. And up ahead, was a smooth, flat and high wall. Intricate carvings were set into the smooth wall, and they glowed slightly, barely enough to see, but I saw it. Syaoran went forward, a little enchanted, almost recognizing the carvings.

From his first appearance until the scene, undoubtedly of the passing of the test, Syaoran had a visible heart with a sword through it. I went closer and saw the sword had a skull, as if the sword was of poison.

From then on, there was Syaoran yet again, this time, with another Syaoran inside him, chained to himself, but trying to get out. He was in his robes, with the dark circle and three white blatches. There was a carving of Tomoyo, her hand holding a flower, her eyes closed, a dark aura covering her, or actually a carving of a dark aura. There were the three sorcerors, doomed to die. Syaoran, being embraced by a tall angel, his hands tied together in front of him, his head bowed, kneeling, with the angel protecting him. There was a sword, with strange inscriptions that I didn't recognize. There was Syaoran again, leaping, nearly flying, in his robes, yet those were not his. There was a dragon instead of the round circle, which almost covered him with its snake like body. His arms were spread, free, almost as if gliding, which he probably was. Xuyan made his first appearance, his pole a staff, he was raising it, in command, dressed in robes of an emperor. Sakura had the fifty three cards above in a smooth arc over her head, her staff also raised, but it was a different staff, no longer childish.

" You fate." I whispered. " Oh my god, what is this place, a cave of fates?"  
" Otou-san." Syaoran called.  
I bent down and held him close to me. " Let's go see what your future is." I followed the carvings down, reading them.

But it ended with Syaoran, something bursting out of his chest, his head thrown back, eyes closed, hair flapping in the wind, his sleeves like a limp pair of wings behind him. And then there was a drip drip drip, and I realized that the wall behind the carving was completely eroded, unlike the smooth wall we had just faced.

I was suddenly filled with dread. Sensing danger, I gathered the child into my arms, and then hurried to where we once were. This time, there was a long hallway, leading straight out into the woods. Dawn was come.

  
  
After that night, everything became normal, the opposite of the logical turn. Xuyan, playing the violin, along with Syaoran, went over to Eriol's home for a rehearsal. The concert was organized by Kaho-san, with another friend in Japan she had made the passing year. Syaoran, Eriol and Xuyan were going to perform a few trios by Beethoven, Schubert, and Mozart.

There came a series of tuning, of course, as goes with all pieces that needed them. This time, no tuning fork was required, because Eriol couldn't spend so much time tuning every string on his old, falling apart piano. He apologized for the creaky pedal, but it couldn't be helped.

" I'm planning on getting a new one, perhaps when I go back to England." He said. " But good god, this is a Steinway, and a German one at that." He was upset.

Then came a series of criticisms, in which Xuyan pointed out that the voice of the piano was generally flat, and Syaoran had asked if it was made anywhere between 1960 and 1980, and complained about something with teflons. Eriol grew really sad. Syaoran noticed, and then said something about rosin, and then both of them threatened to use it on Eriol's piano, much to the boy's distress. Of course, the boys didn't really do that.

And what normally happens with students without a teacher happened. They got into a quarrel. Something about whether there was a crescendo or not. It was quite amusing for Yukito, to watch them. There was no violence, thankfully, but there was a lot of talking. All of them are very good for eleven year olds, but nonetheless, none would submit. Finally they just sat down and tried again.

And continued arguing.

  
  
It was moments like these, when one forgets all troubles, just enjoys the moment in time. Little children, chatting, laughing and teasing, just enjoying the joys of life in that moment, however short it was. Living for that moment. Happy. Quiet. Filled with love. That feeling, only music could express. No language, however sophisticated, could match it. It was moments like these when I was filled with hope, a hope that perhaps there will be more moments like these, happy, normal, a hope that my child would be cured and will perhaps go through more of these. More of those moments in time. 


	2. Chapter 2Eriol

The Desease that Killed Love

Chapter 2-Eriol

Things went on slowly, very slowly. Yet it went fast, in a way. Before we know it, it was December 20th, and we're off, away from school. White Christmas is rare, but that year we did, oh yes. It snowed like Antarctica during the Ice age. We get to enjoy the view. Xuyan once joked about playing outside. Quite frankly, I still didn't know how the men had managed to get my piano through the door-Nakuru was the supervisor. But I guess they took the legs off, as well as the pedals.

The damp pedal creaks-Nakuru was right about that one. She didn't know that the soft pedal is stuck and the middle one doesn't work anymore. That's alright, musicians don't use it as much as the damp pedal. But I guess if we were out in the snow, I won't even be able to use that one, creaky or not.

So laugh, laugh, and more laugh, we managed the last week, all the way up to the last day before the winter recess, which was from the eighteenth all the way until the fourth of January, because the new year was on Friday.

The concert was actually on Christmas, oh gee. No wait, it was actually after, the day after. Oh gee. So the entire vacation we had to get together. Syaoran and Xuyan were able to practice at home-they live together anyway, for as long as Xuyan wanted. He didn't really show signs of homesickness, and besides, with Yukito in college who knows where Syaoran would be now. Yukito had went back for about three weeks, although he didn't really want to. 

But even with the violon and the violoncello ( Italian for the obvious) the trio just doesn't sound right without the piano. And the trio, in the other way, just doesn't sound right without the violin and cello. So of course, they had to carry their cases over to my house, because although I might like to hit some people with my instrument I can't exactly lift it. It was a B sized model, which was another reason I was so upset. B size is actually the largest you can get these days. They're about six feet three inches or so. Or was it seven? I don't keep track. Steinways don't make C's anymore, the C's were seven feet, and the D's are the largest, nine feet something inches. Don't ask me about the new piano at Carnegie Hall in New York, I have absolutely no idea how large it is-I think it's about fifteen feet, because I went there once. It's a nice hall, a nice piano, I would die to get a chance to play it, although if it were at my house, you play a low C and the house just tumbles. But enough of the A's and B's and C's and D's, because that was not important. In fact, all of the things I will be telling are not important. They're just in chronological order.

Also, this happened to be one of the brighter things to tell, like a calm before the storm. I remember Yukito was watching us practice when a string popped on my piano. I was so fed up with it.  
" God, the piano's as bad as a Knabe. Good sound and all, but it can't handle the pressure."  
" It's new!" I protested.  
" I know." Xuyan continued. " You should get a Yamaha."  
" Hai! A Yamaha!" Then Syaoran started laughing. He laughed so much now. " Eriol! You really ought to. The Yamaha stands the abuse better than your piano," He flicked his bow gently against the side of the piano.  
" I hate Yamaha." I protested. " I hate Yamaha, and Kawai. The Japanese pianos stink."  
" I know." Xuyan turned to Syaoran. " They have the weird robotic sound."  
" Mechanical. Not musical at all." Syaoran agreed. " But at least they stand better."  
" What's wrong with a Yamaha?" Yukito asked, curious. That time, Tomoyo was with him, and Tomoyo was looking a little insulted.  
" Oh, they say it's just the people who make them." Syaoran answered, ignoring Tomoyo's look of uneasiness, which I didn't appreciate. " I mean, the Japanese people, they say, tend to try to do everything as precisely as they can-which is good most of the time, but not with music. Of course, in Eriol's case," He threw me a humorous glance, " He needs a precise piano."  
" Hai, I mean," Xuyan continued, " They're very robotic, the Japanese people. They have good technique and everything, especially on music, but when it comes to understanding it-which was why they can't make a good piano-they don't understand it. Hey, remember the time when there was a hundred or something year old violin, perfectly preserved, found in Italy?"  
" Hai, Italians make the best violins." Syaoran nodded. " They say the wood is dense there. I remember. That thing costed six million dollars just to rent it. The owner, undoubtedly, wouldn't sell it for anything. The Japanese tried make an exact replica by trying to measure every micrometer and shape, using the exact wood and everything, and in the end it still sounded like garbage, and the violin still costs six million dollars."  
Xuyan started laughing. " The good thing, though, is the flutes."  
" Hai, the Yamaha flutes are pretty good." Syaoran nodded. " So what do you say, Eriol? Get a Yamaha Grand?"  
" Not a chance!" I remarked. Because as upsetting as that may be, the quality of the Yamaha couldn't be doubted. I wouldn't buy one for a million bucks.

  
  
The concert went well. There were other trios, of course. But we did it. The piano there was much better, of course, because if it wasn't, I'll seriously throw things at whoever organized this thing-Kaho as well. Of course, it wasn't really necessary.

After that, came the competitions. Syaoran was going to attend a competition in Tokyo in the Spring. Only three months away. And I was supposed to accompany him. Not that I was so interested in music, I was more interested in magic. But magic is more of a long run. This is a short. And with Syaoran keeping himself busy, he drags other people with him. I've never seen him so open and attached to his friends before.

  
  
For Christmas, my piano was _finally_ fixed. The pedal stopped creaking, the hammers were replaced, and the thing was restringed. I got new keys, white and shiny, although I liked ivory better. All in all, it was pretty good. We celebrated Yukito's birthday, there wasn't much to talk about that. And the new year in Tiananmen Square was a little freaky, with all the dancing and sorts.

Tomoyo, Syaoran, Sakura, Xuyan and I made dumplins for New Years Eve. We had wine-although it tasted awful, despite good memories, so we switched to soda. Dumplins, soy sauce, vinegar, Chinese foods, and then sushi, salami with a whole bottle of wasabi-perfect for running noses and lack of tissues are the Japanese foods. There was a whole lot of people for Yukito's party and the New Year's party. I think Kaho, Nakuru, Spinel, and of course I was there, Tomoyo and Daidouji-san, since after the awful revealing of magic in that school the news sprouted everywhere, so it was impossible for someone like Daidouji-san not to hear about it. Fujitaka, my other half, Touya and Sakura-chan, Touya being home with Yukito from college. Chiharu, Yamazaki, Noako, who were the ones who made the sushi and salami and prepared the salmon. Rika brought the cakes. It was a nice New Year, very happy, but unfortunately Syaoran still had to drink his medication. We had the party over at Tomoyo's mansion.

So things went slowly, yet they went fast. Chiharu and Yamazaki are going on their first date. I always knew they would, after all. Rika was going to the Tchaikovsky piano competition in July. It would have been good, if I wasn't going too. This year they're holding it in Moscow, a proper place, I guess. I don't know how to speak Russian. Rika doesn't either. Noako, who played chess ( if this is new) is competing in Brazil.

Everything was going well, we were starting to go our own ways yet again. January passed. February came. March came like a lion. And there was our soccer tournament.

I still can't believe he was alright for three months, and then he all of the sudden just collapsed.

It started with the first one. Tomoeda Elementary was waiting because the other areas have to compete for a representing school. We had our Japanese tournaments in Kyoto, the weirdest place for such things. I don't know much about Kyoto, but I just think it doesn't make sense. Imagine monks playing soccer.

So we had to wait until about March twenty ninth. The team and its cheerleaders had skipped school with permission from both parents and principal. My parents are not here, so I didn't need any. Off we went, on the bus. It took some time. There was a lot of talking of course, and Syaoran got a little sick from the bus motion. Thankfully he didn't throw up. We reached that place just in time, and I told Syaoran to sit in the front when we get back.

On the first round, like the World Cup, we had groups of four team. This time, there was only five groups. So in all we had twenty teams. Our first match was with a team of Odaiba, who had a very good soccer player named Iori Wakabayashi. I've heard about the boy when I had stayed in Japan. He was a very tough fellow, with a spirit of a Korean, always determined not to lose. You tell him to run, he runs as fast as he could go. Which was why no one ever beated that team. Of the team, Iori was the best, but there was another person, Yui Yoshihara, who was a fast runner. These two had helped Odaiba earn many trophies. A good team. I was secretly hoping Syaoran wouldn't kill himself over this.

He didn't really. He got tired quickly. The game started, and then just two seconds later the ball was out. It was pathetic. It was our team, that had forced the ball out. I don't know if it was Yamazaki or Satoshi. But the ball went out, and the good thrower, I think his name was Yuji, went to get the ball. The game continued.

We are not very good players, not like the World Cup. So it's not just one goal or two goals in the end. It's seven or eight. Our team scored none of it for the first round. We couldn't last ninety minutes so it went down to sixty, thirty minutes each.

Now Iori was a good kicker, his aim true to his reputation. I was almost going to use my magic if I wasn't careful. I could tell Xuyan was too. Iori had the ball repeatedly, and although he had to get it back, after about five minutes of playing, he was almost right in front of the goal box. Syaoran was tense, concentrated, and Iori, with a smooth move, kicked the goal towards the box.

If a goalie, under such circumstances, wants to get the ball, the obvious choice of defense would be the hands. Not for catching-that will knock a hole in your lungs. But for blocking. Syaoran, with his expert martial arts skills, _kicked_ the ball way over the center line. The goalie was the only one who was able to reach the ball and he kicked it back. Yamazaki hit it with his head, and it went flying back. I went and caught the ball on my chest and began making my way as fast as I could towards the goalie box.

We must have made quite a comical scene. I always loved it, in my carefree moments, how two or more players would fight with their legs over a ball and end up tumbling over each other. It was not funny for me. The player threw the ball a kick and the ball slowly made its way towards the other goalie, who caught it with his foot.

I went to get a quick drink of water when the thirty minutes were over. Syaoran had blocked Iori's ball five times during those thirty minutes, two by foot and three by hand. The second set of thirty minutes Iori wore a look of pure frustration, while Syaoran wore a look of exhaustion. So Xuyan, Yamazaki, and I made the attempt to block the ball with our heads, sparing Syaoran the necessity of using his energy. It helped, I guess, but only a little. 

By the end of the game, zero to zero, and we had to do overtime, ten minutes. We were only eleven or twelve. Syaoran asked for a break and got it. We had another one of us become the goalie, while Syaoran stepped to the side.

When Iori saw the new goalie I think I saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes. And so he didn't play as hard. We had penalty kicks. Syaoran, rested after his twenty minutes or so, went back to being goalie. First up, me, and I kicked in. Second, from the other team, a French guy named Louis, and he was knocked out. Yamazaki went the next time, his was in again. Next up, Yui, and even his was knocked out. With Syaoran's leg. They sat down, Yui, very disappointed. Xuyan went next. His was in again. We were happy.

Iori saw that he has to make this one. Face to face with his chief rival, a goalie and a very tired one, I saw a weird smirk on his face, a smirk that didn't bring good luck. I still remember that scene. Iori kicked straight at Syaoran, something that wasn't expected and could have knocked him into the box. Syaoran simply leaped up, caught the ball with his left leg, and stopped the ball dead on the grass, right outside the box.

The game was over. Four to X. The other team will continue playing though this year they had tried to make it as close to the World Cup as possible. But I'll never forget the look on Iori's face, a look of dejection. He had lost to a goalie! And we all rushed to Syaoran, our hero, our life saver. But Syaoran sighed and sat down on the ground, laid back and remained there, too tired to move, too tired to speak. We learned later that he had blacked out, from lack of water, from exhaustion, from the heat. He poured cold sweat. I thought I almost lost him. As did the rest of us. 


	3. Chapter 3Xuyan

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 3-Xuyan

Syaoran woke from his blackout a half hour later, very tired and dazed. Iori wore the same look I must have wore when I met Syaoran. To be beaten by someone who faints a lot is quite a large and sharp thorn in the side, yet on the other hand there are no many who has Syaoran's eyesights, with all his regards to my uncle. ( Who, of course, I would never call.) Despite Syaoran's lack of endurance, he was still pretty fast, so my cousin usually waits until the kick was made before moving.

He drank some water, cooled down a bit and all of us began to talk. We were going to eat dinner before going home; we were definetely not staying in Kyoto. It was quite simple. We were going to go home, and then next week we get to miss school again. Syaoran was panicking over his admissions test, which I didn't take because I was only visiting.

In fact, I don't see why Syaoran should worry whether he got into that middle school or not. He should worry more about Sakura-math is starting to become quite important these days.

So Tomoyo, Syaoran, and Sakura weren't going to get their results until somewhere around April, I don't know which. In the meantime, we were talking about the game, and all agreed that it was saved mostly by Syaoran. Which, of course, it would have been good, except now Syaoran has to work hard.

Syaoran, Eriol, and I were packed into the same bus. Yamazaki sat next to Eriol while I sat next to Syaoran. The road home wasn't much fun, we talked and that was all, but later we learned that the other bus, for there was one bus for boys, one bus for girls, where Noako and Sakura were, broke down in the middle of the highway. I personally thought it was absurd. The girls had to wait in McDonalds, one of the most disgusting fast food stores I've ever known in Hong Kong or Japan. Off we went, passing the girls, and we reached home before they did.

Touya had a nice fit. So did Yue. Syaoran was worried, Eriol careless, I was clueless until they came back.

A week later we played against another team. Needless to say, we won. The next game a few days later, Syaoran was absent, so another kid took over.

In the end, we ended up in the semi finals along with Iori's team. There were of course, two left in each group, and we all had to fight each other, hehehe. Syaoran was able to rest until the thing with Iori.

Meanwhile, Sakura's birthday came up. Syaoran and I ran into this problem of what to give her, just like any other birthday. We never thought much of birthdays, partly because competitions always end up either on that day or the day after. But with Sakura, there's a difference I guess.

I ended up buying Sakura a bracelet, simply because there was nothing else to buy but jewelry. She already got a watch from Yukito, I don't think she wants any more clothes because Tomoyo made her some anyway, as expected. Eriol gave her an english fan. So all that's left is jewelry. A bracelet, despite all the romantic scenes that come from it, does not really symbolize love, and anyway I gave her a jade friendship one so I made it all clear.

I still remember that day. It was one of the wierdest, sweetest, and funniest days I'll ever remember.

_" So Syaoran, what did you give her?" Eriol asked.  
" Hai, you left your gift till the last." Touya tilted his head. " It could either be the best or the worst."  
" I'm sure it's neither." I joked. " The truth is-"  
" The truth is," Syaoran glared at me, " It's probably a little unfitting, that's all."  
We suddenly had the image of the Black Stone of Renague, which we had forgotten by now. The funny thing was, all of us had it.  
" Iie, it's not that." Syaoran wore an sulking expression, he saw it too. " I'm not that kind of baka."  
" Oh, ano, I didn't know that." Eriol teased.  
" So what is it?" Yukito urged. " You wouldn't let me in your room last night."  
" Oooh," I smiled. " he didn't let me in either."  
" Oh my god how romantic!" Tomoyo squealed. Sakura blushed.  
" Oh please, stop that." Syaoran was blushing really red.  
" So what is it, cousin?" I asked, grinning my most devilish grin, I think.  
" Hai, what is it?" Eriol asked. " You certainly got her something special, yes?" He said yes in English.  
" Come on Syaoran," Yamazaki, who was also there, urged.  
" Hey!" Syaoran yelled. ' What are you staring at me like that for?"_

We shrunk back to give him space. Syaoran began blushing harder than ever. He handed over a thin, gift wrapped rectangle, and Sakura took it, puzzled.

Tomoyo was videotaping, and I'm sure we would have won the award for the funniest faces ever. Everyone was exactly the same, eyes popping out, mouth hanging open.

Two cards, different from either Clow or Sakura. One had a picture of a woman in white satin, her hands cupped in front of her holding a bowl of herbs.  
THE HEAL, it said. Another with a look of mist about it, an outline of a formless spirit, THE INVISIBLE.

" I know it's different from the rest." Syaoran smiled. " But now, you have fifty five cards."  
" Oh my god." Touya breathed. " Does it work?"

A feeling of magic coursed the room, and Sakura faded slowly, until she completely disappeared. She popped back, and stared at the invisible card. Then, she looked at her arm, gave a deep scratch, ouchies, and then used the heal.

The scratch disappeared. Sakura immediately looked at Syaoran, and we all knew what she had in mind.

It was one of the weirdest, sweetest, and fnniest day ever. It was also a day of great disappointment.

Finals. Four teams. Tomoeda, Tokyo, Odaiba, and another place whose name I forgot. The first game we played in the morning. We went home and Syaoran, Tomoyo and Sakura got their results.

Syaoran got in. As did Tomoyo and Sakura. Sakura, barely. She was one point higher than the cut off score. Syaoran? He had the top score out of the whole student body that had taken the test. Tomoyo was about fifty or sixty points higher than the cut off score. Yamazaki was in the waiting list. Chiharu as well. Noako didn't make it. Neither did Rika.

So off we went, realizing that we were already separating. But as fate would have it Syaoran ended up in the same school as Sakura. Which was, indeed, good fortune.

Touya was really happy for his sister, of course, and Yukito was glad for Syaoran. I guessed this really means Syaoran's going to stay in Japan.

  
  
The finals were down to two teams, ours and Odaiba's, with the baka of Iori. Syaoran got really tired at the last minute and had to sit out for about ten. Iori, seeing Syaoran was not there, did not play his best. Ten minutes later Syaoran was the goalie. 

Then there was some sort of rivalry between Eriol and Iori. Eriol was not a bad player at this game, and neither was I. There was a little kicking of legs between us, but Iori got through with some strange luck. That luck stopped at the frame of the goal box. Syaoran caught the ball just as it was going in. He pushed it out. Iori caught it and prepared for another shot, but the problem was it went too far to the right and it the metal pole. The ball bounced out.

We cried out, rushing to get the ball. I got it, kicking at it with my feet, I hit it with my head. Yui caught it with his chest and then the ball flew straight back. Iori caught it with his feet, stamped it to the ground. Syaoran got ready. The ball got caught in the grass, and Syaoran ran forward to kick it.

Just as he was about to kick Iori slid forward and kicked the ball away, but tripped Syaoran over first. Iori got up by pulling Syaoran down, kicked him off, and continued to play. Of course, there was a whistle. Syaoran got up a little shakily, blood running down his face from where Iori kicked him.

_This can't be good._ I thought, and when I looked at Eriol I knew he thought the same. For the blood was pink as it always was, pink like cherryblossoms in full bloom. Syaoran was panting, people were holding him, inspecting his blood, completely confident that he was anemic. He was not allowed to be the goalie.

It ended in a disaster. Our team lost. Iori was so upset that he couldn't face his rival goalie he wouldn't play even if he was allowed to. The other team lost a member without replacement. And we still lost-maybe because Yamazaki kicked it into our own goal...

Syaoran was a little disappointed, but after all, it was only a game. He had so much to be happy for; he got in to the best middle school, after all. But it was just like Syaoran to worry about whether he'll get into the best high school or not, or the best college, the best graduate school or law school or medical school of some sort. 

  
  
It was that night, when Yukito finally decided to tell us all about it. We, in all seriousness, knew nothing about Syaoran and Yue's adventure in the caves. Eriol threatened to put Yukito and Syaoran in a headlock. I'm not sure if that's a British way of saying ' Are you crazy?', but since Eriol is our only example, we couldn't say it was not.

So this time, instead of Syaoran and Yue cruising the winds, we took off with them. I had to ride on Kero's back, of course, and that was _not_ fun.

The case was an interesting one, and...I'll leave it to Tomoyo to tell about it. 


	4. Chapter 4Tomoyo

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 4-Tomoyo

We had already gotten over our scare with the Erase Card, seriously we did. But when Sakura and I heard about the changing paths, walls that had a mind of their own, we really freaked out, I mean, truly, underground tunnels are not my favorite site to live in, and I am neither a mole or an earthworm, nor do I have a mind of one. I did not intend to live the rest of my life eating raw fish eggs and fish, drink cave water, or feed on bacteria and batwings, the maze card without Kaho's bell did not seem worth encountering yet again. With Sakura and her scare of ghosts, to which Syaoran's encounters did not relieve her much, we paired up perfectly in a protest of not going.

But then Eriol pointed out that if it _is_ too dark for us, we can use the Light Card to light up the place, and if we _do_ get lost, Sakura could use the Maze Card to let the paths go _her_ way.

  
  
So in the dark of night we arrived at the mouth of the cave. I had my trusty video camera, Sakura her staff and cards, Syaoran and Yue along with Ruby Moon with their nightvision, and we went in.

At first, it was like any regular cave. But the paths changed from Yue and Syaoran's experience.  
" This is a magical cave, obviously." Eriol had stated. " And a prophetic one. Sakura, you can use your card now."  
Sakura, more than willingly, lighted up the place, and we instantly saw that the cave was actually a temple.

" Ah, now that explains everything." Eriol nodded. " This is the Temple of Fates. There was a story much different from Greek, about the fates that live in a temple. These fates are not exactly spirits, but forces, mystical and mysterious."  
" And you suppose they live here." Tomoyo guessed.  
" Iie, not exactly. I never believed that myth. Or rather, I didn't..." Eriol looked carefully. " Hm? What's this?"

We ventured to look.

She was very pretty, the carved lady on the wall. From the pictures, she happened to be half mortal and half god as well.   
" Are you sure?" I asked Eriol.  
" Hai." He nodded, being the one who told us that. " It seems here," He looked at the pictures, drawing his finger or the carvings, " Her mother had moon magic, her father was a sun immortal, so she was able to live quite peacefully without harm. But,"

That ' but' dragged on for some time, as Eriol focused on the carvings. " Some immortals captured her and held her hostage for a time, when she was rescued she was dispirited...she began using her powers to disturb the dead."  
" Bad idea." Syaoran muttered. At first I didn't know what he meant.  
" And then...the dead rose against her, and she became a full mortal, immediately dying."

Syaoran, I could tell, got a little scared. Eriol moved on to another section.   
" This one," he started, " Was about the Great Dragon. It lived alone and free for millions of years, but one time it was summoned to guard an immortal child from harm. This child eventually grew mad and killed himself, but earlier, five sorcerors from across the world gathered to destroy the boy. The Great Dragon, angered, sensing its...treasure, was in danger, cursed all five sorcerors into living death, in which they were invisible, untouchable, and pass through anything solid or liquid, or even gas, and their movements produce no effect, fully and truly ghosts."

" Alright," I said after a moment, " Now Syaoran's not the only one who's nervous."  
" This cave senses the people it contains." Kero looked up. " So right now it only shows what we need to know."  
" So far, it seems like that's how it behaves." Eriol looked closely. " These carvings are not eroded at all. And it's mighty strange how almost all of these carvings contain no inscriptions or runes. Every story was inscribed purely on pictures and symbols."  
" Alright, so what does the sword through the heart mean?"  
  
That question came from Yue. And it was urgently asked.

" A sword through the heart?" Eriol turned slowly to face Yue. Sakura's card glowed and flickered faintly.  
" There are several meanings for that." Eriol said slowly and carefully, and I saw his hand clenching. " One is heartbreak, another is a weak heart, and..."

Sakura shifted uneasily. " And?"

Eriol did not answer at once, but stared steadily at Syaoran, studying him. Syaoran stared blankly back. Eriol blinked, looked away.  
" Someone could be hurting him." Eriol said tiredly, his voice strangely weak. " Someone or something."

We hesitated. " None of them sounds good." I stated the obvious. " Where is the wall with all the carvings of Syaoran?"  
" The wall changes." Yue replied. He was holding Syaoran's hand tightly. " I do not know."  
" Can we go now?" Xuyan asked. " Even with Sakura's wonderful card this place is still creeping me out."  
" Hai, there is a feeling about there that seems so ancient, so ancient it seems...dead." Sakura agreed. She turned to me. " Do put that camcorder down, Tomoyo-chan, I don't want to watch myself freak out."  
" You know," I began, in my ordinary logical manner, " You are so kawaii when you do freak out, in front of Syaoran especially."

This raised a burst of laughter from everyone, except from Yue, Syaoran and Sakura. Yue only smiled. Syaoran and Sakura blushed bright red. The laughter quickly died down, but it had raised the spirits of everyone.  
" That was a good one Tomoyo." Touya smiled. " So when do we get out of here?"  
" When we find the carvings of ourselves, according to Syaoran and Yue." Eriol replied. " Yue said there was no story after the present, because it was all scratched and eroded. I want to see for myself, perhaps I could see it, I'm not sure."  
" Exactly what do you hope to find?" Xuyan suddenly asked. " If the rock says that Syaoran's going to die, what will you make of it? You can't change fate."  
  
Eriol's head snapped up and looked long and hard at Xuyan. For a moment I didn't know what he was thinking, either of them.

" I hope to find out," Eriol began, slowly and quietly, " If Syaoran was going to suffer pain, if Syaoran can die peacefully if he should die, and see if there is any way out of this mess. There is a reason why the cave drew Syaoran and Yue. The forces are trying to tell us something, and I hope to find out what it is."  
" Syaoran! Jingxi, where are you going?" Sakura suddenly cried.  
" There's something down there." Syaoran answered, panting, running off. Sakura followed and the light went along with her.  
  
We followed, me with my camera. It must have been quite shaky, the footage, I mean. I'm not a smooth runner. Syaoran was the one. Sakura also.

" I have to tell you this," Eriol whispered to me, as he dropped down to my pace, which was at the end of the group, " I'm pretty nervous about seeing that thing. If it turns out Syaoran is going to die a painful death and there's no way around it, I don't know what Yue and Sakura will do."  
" Or any of us." I answered. " He's like our family."  
" The source, anyway, for the time being." We slowed to a walk, for the others have.  
" You know Tomoyo-chan, you really shouldn't have come here." Eriol looked at me. " You have no magic. Forces cannot sense who you are or where you are."  
  
I gulped. I knew what he meant. Eriol said it anyway.  
" I don't want you to get lost, which will happen if you're separated from the rest of us. Touya does not have magic but he has an identity. That the forces could recognize. You, you have no identity. You never had magic in all your life. So I want you to do this one favor for me, Tomoyo-chan."  
" Ano...hai?"  
" Stick with me. At _all_ times. The forces know who I am. If we get separated from the others, I could get you out of here. So stick with me at all times. You got that? You can't depend on anyone else. Ruby is worried about Yue, Spinel and Kero about Syaoran, as Yue is, Sakura is worried about Syaoran and Touya is worried about Sakura. They are all looking out for others, you can't always count on them."  
" Alright." I agreed. Eriol took my hand and he caught up with the others.  
" Oh my god..." Sakura's voice whispered in the light. " This is so creepy..."  
" The carving is so like a one or two D version of Syaoran and the rest of us." Touya observed. " How come I'm not in it."  
" Because you're not important." Sakura teased.  
" Enough." Yue snapped. I have never heard him snap before.   
" He's right." Eriol led me to the front, still clenching my hand while studying. For some reason, I felt that he didn't know he was still holding my hand. There was a tiny giggle from Sakura, and I could feel myself blushing.  
" I suppose this part never came out before." Eriol began. " Every carving shows Syaoran in his robes for some reason, so I suppose that this one," He pointed to the carving of something exploding on Syaoran's chest, " Is that time at the soccer game."  
" Oh." Syaoran blinked. " That is quite an exaggeration."  
" It's not. The truth is, you nearly died again. The Renague stone started glowing. I had trouble hiding it." Eriol answered in a matter of fact tone. " Now what's this? You're able to ride the wind? Literally?"  
" Oh." This time, it was Yue, and he stammered slightly. " I guess, I forgot to mention."  
" You don't need to. It's all right here." Eriol smiled. " You flew with him. Now that is so sweet, father and son thing," From the looks of both Syaoran and Yue I could tell Eriol was beginning to embarrass them. " You know, I always thought flying was the best gift any type of magic can bring, and I guess Clow agreed. That's why, after all, you guardians are all born with wings."  
  
I don't know if Eriol was doing this on purpose or is he merely throwing stuff out of his mouth. But his words made all four guardians feel very self conscious.

" Now," Eriol began, " I could make out a little of what happens next. It's all a blur though. Syaoran-wait a minute!" 

He yelled so loud it echoed eerily in the cave, Syaoran cringed against Yue and Sakura against Touya.  
" Did you have to yell so loud?" I asked, truly annoyed.  
" Gomen." Eriol said, a little preoccupied. " I just found out why these marks are eroded in the first place. They show what is going to happen, but the reason why they are eroded is because they _are_ leaving a hole to widen. We _are_ able to go on a different path."  
" Are you sure?" Xuyan asked, not wanting to take any chances. Kaho studied Eriol silently.  
" I think so." She said. " But we might need a different situation to see. We need something that's happening-"  
" Chiharu!" Sakura cried. " Chiharu and Yamazaki-"  
" Iie. You need something about magic to be in this cave." Eriol rubbed his chin. " Let's see, I had agreed with Xuyan about not changing fate, but if this goes for all, we can't be sure anymore. I know a friend, you remember her, Kaho, don't you? I want to see if her future is planned out for her."  
" There's that glow again!" Syaoran pointed. " You know, Eriol, you command the forces really well."  
" I don't command. They just comply. I guess it's all because of you." Eriol said simply, and, still holding my hand, which I had gotten use to, he dragged me and the rest of us over to where the glow, now dimmed, had come from.

" Perfect." Eriol announced. " This decision of paths only goes for Syaoran. Hold it!" 

And we ran back. Where did Eriol get all these whims from?"

  
Hidden by a corner, was another few frames of pictures that Syaoran and Yue never saw before. It showed Yue and Yelan-san, Yue's feather and Yelan's hair entwined together, and glowing. Then it showed a small baby, with dead, dull eyes, and two souls, one soul pushing the other in. It jumped into Yelan, with a surprised look on her face, and embracing her child. Yue became Yukito.

" What do those mean?" I asked.  
Eriol didn't answer. He simply nodded to himself, mumbling something, and I heard something like " I wish I saw what would happen to Anna," and then he turned away.  
" What is that supposed to mean?" Syaoran asked. Eriol still did not answer. Instead, he said,  
" I think we can leave now."  
" Good." Sakura nodded. " I don't like this place."  
" You _still_ don't?" Touya asked.  
" Hey, I'm the one producing light here." Sakura protested, and at her protest, she put away her card and all was dark.  
" Domo arigatou." Syaoran said dully. " Now we're all in the dark. But I guess you're tired."

Saying this, he smited his hands together and out came a spark. A small flame, blue and whitish, burned in his hand, or rather, on it, floating, producing enough light for all of us to see.  
" Come." Eriol _finally_ let go of my hand and led the way. Up ahead, there was light. It was morning. 


	5. Chapter 5 Eriol

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 5-Eriol

Given that according to the carvings, Syaoran has a choice of life and death, the odds with each other, we all grew a little more hopeful. But Syaoran broke down, even the stone couldn't save him.

Yue, having heard voices in his head in the beginning and then stopped, began hearing them again. He didn't really freak out like he almost did before, because instead of questioning his capabilities, the dead told him what to do. So instead of haunting Yue, they began to haunt Syaoran in his dreams, telling him that he _must_ live, that he must, or else he will face dire consequences. A threat towards the good. But Syaoran couldn't handle that.

The poor child looked horrible. Yue did the best he could. And the child wouldn't let anyone near him, except Sakura, Yue, Xuyan and me. He shrank from Tomoyo as if she had a gun, from Kaho as if she was a witch. He cringed and always sought Yue's protection.

Something had terrified the boy, something powerful, but he would mention none of it. I heard him once, mumbling, sobbing to Yue of why they had gone back to the cave in the first place. Yue knew I was there, but Syaoran didn't. And the guardian and father gave me a pleading look, asking me what to do.

I honestly didn't know.

  
  
Vacation was over for the college students. On the second week of April, Yukito had to go back. Xuyan had to go buy groceries; Syaoran could no longer do that. He might have went over to Sakura's if Sakura was at home, but she and Touya went out, Fujitaka had went on a trip, and quite frankly, I was the only one left. I couldn't let him come over, it would be just stupid-he would have to face Spinel, Nakuru, and Kaho. So I went over to his.

He was in a sad state, almost like he had been abused, but it was all pure fear, terror at something I did not know.  
" Ohayo, Syaoran-kun." I called. After all, it was morning.  
He didn't answer, just stared at me cautiously, then looking behind me, as if afraid I'd bring someone harmful and dangerous with me.  
" Hey, calm down, I came alone." I said. _Getting him and Sakura together is getting ever the harder._ I thought. _With all these diversions._  
" Do you want some ice cream?" I asked. I knew it was awkward-I shouldn't be the one asking that. But Syaoran was like a little child, small, weak, pale. The stone glowed faintly, starting to warm up. There was one time at the soccer practice when that stone had burned me. Ouch.

He didn't answer. He had gone completely mute. I took his wrist; he flinched at that, and felt his pulse. It was going too fast. Very bad.  
" Ay, my cute descendant, what happened to you?" I asked tenderly. He use to hate that nickname. Now, he didn't respond.

I went to get him some ice cream. Chocolate, both Yukito's and Syaoran's favorite. I gave him a big bowl, and handed to him. I scooped some for myself.

He ate slowly, watching my every move, and every time I made a motion he flinched. I wondered, what happened to him?

" So what's going on around here?" I asked. He was silent.  
" Syaoran?" I tilted my head. He was not speaking.

And all of the sudden, the way I hated it most, the childish frustration washed all sense of logic out of my head.  
" Syaoran, you can't keep hiding yourself like this." I began. " If you're going to heal, you have to tell us what you're feeling, and what's happening to you."  
" They won't stop."

I should have cheered, finally getting that boy to talk. But his words confused me.  
" Who's they?"  
" They won't stop." It came out as a sob. " I'm so tired."

I hesitated. " I know you're tired." I began carefully, feeling that this is a very delicate thread we're standing on right now. " You have to keep trying."  
" I can't."  
" Why not?" I asked, very frustrated now.   
" I can't Eriol!" Syaoran cried. " I can't stand it anymore, they won't stop. I try to make them stop, they won't stop," And then he started crying.

Voices of the dead, they won't stop. I thought for a minute, watching Syaoran over there, crying. For a moment my mind is blank. Then I woke.  
" We're heading for the cave."  
" Iie!" Syaoran immediately cried, his eyes full of horror. " Iie! You can't do that, Eriol-"  
" We're going to the cave. You're coming with me."  
" Iie! Onegai-" Syaoran cringed back and fell. There was a sharp shattering sound, and Syaoran was in his robes.  
" Get up." I lifted his hand and forced him up. " You're coming with me. Something in that cave is haunting you. I want to find out what it is."  
" But-"  
" No buts." I told him. " Iie. It's going to be okay. I'll be here, right beside you, and if anything is going to hurt you, if you hear anything, any threats, or feel anything, tell me, alright?"  
" I don't want to go-"  
" You have to. Now come. Do you trust me Syaoran?"

It was a very important question. If Syaoran doesn't trust me, I can't help him.

" I-" Syaoran trembled slightly, his tears dry. " Hai."  
" Then come." I held out my hand. " Come. Trust me. This is for the better."

Now that I think of it, I couldn't believe I actually knew what I was doing.

  
  
In daylight, the cave looked even more old, less haunting but ancient. Syaoran cringed, freezing in terror. I rubbed his shoulders, the poor child, scared by something unknown. Encouraging him, we stepped in.

There was a woosh, and the entrance closed behind us. Syaoran gave a choking cry and covered his head, ducking. I held on to him. _Gosh, what happened to that guy?_ I thought.

No time. I held on to Syaoran's hand, just to let him know I was there. And then I think I did the stupidest thing.

" Alright." I called out into the empty cave. " Tell me what you did to him. Tell me what you did to him that night."

There was no answer, of course. Just a drip of water, and that was all.  
" Are you going to answer me?" I called. " You're supposed to protect him. Are you going to abandon him?"

This time, to my surprise; I hadn't expected any answers I was simply frustrated, there were whispers, whispers, deep within the cave.

I tugged at Syaoran's hand, and Syaoran followed me as I went deeper.  
" You all know who I am!" I called. " I am Eriol Hiriingaziwa. Reincarnation of Clow Reed."

More whispers, quiet, silent.

" Something in this cave has frightened him, has followed him out and haunted him." I called. " Something in this cave is destroying him."

No answer.

" Well? Are you going to help him or not?" This time, I knew there was something in that cave besides walls and carvings, and us, the two living beings. " He is the half mortal of this year. The present. The accident. The child that deserves life. Do you want to kill him? Do you want to leave him in the dark void of the dead? Answer me! Show me what you have done!"

There was no answer. It was simply quiet, as quiet as the full moon.

Frustrated, I took out the key. " I call upon the powers of the day and the night-"

When the key turned into a staff there was a flash up ahead, a sharp, hard light, pale white. I set the staff down, displaying my identity.

" If you're going to hurt him, you might as well give up on him, and all of us." I called. " Because _none of us are going to let him go down the wrong path._ If you wish to stay with him, then help us! Help us protect him! Tell me what you have done!"

And then, as if those words were what I needed, Alakazam! A flash of light, a cry from Syaoran, cowarding next to me, a dim form of a human being, faceless, formless, nameless, flowed, glowed, floated and hovered in the cave in front of me. Large, dark blue eyes opened and stared into mine, a nameless hand reached out, stretched far, _stretched,_ clasped Syaoran's neck, as the poor child gasped and choked. The hand lifted him up, until he touched the ceiling of the cave. I watched in horror, as the dead voice, now audible to my ears, repeated over and over again,

_You are too weak. You are too weak to live and love at the same time, and when you stop loving, the dead shall rise in your body, and you too, will become cursed with living death..._


	6. Chapter 6 Sakura

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 6-Sakura

" So there is someone who is trying to hurt Syaoran, or terrify him, and is succeeding." I licked my lips nervously. " What am I supposed to do then?"  
" Your cards." Eriol thought for a while. " You're now able to combine your cards. Syaoran gave you two more. You can try to protect him and shield him from the deadly voice. It was not the dead, the dead know it, but it was not they."  
" I see." I nodded. " But what cards should I combine?"  
" Let's see, you're guarding against sound, or voice," Xuyan thought for a minute. " You can have ' Silent Voice', as a card. And to prevent him from physical harm, use Shield and Invisible."  
" That takes a lot of energy." Eriol said with worry. " I don't know if you can handle it."  
" We'll all handle it." Xuyan said simply. " I've read about combining strengths. Anyone who wants to sacrifice a piece of their magic for a spell can combine a little with the rest so the spell could retain its effectiveness until a word from all."  
" Hai..." Eriol nodded slowly, " But who will do it? I definetely will, you will, and I don't doubt you will too," He turned to me, " But who else? We're not enough."

  
  
" Are you kidding me?" Kero cried. " Of course I will! We all will."  
" Can I do it too?" Tomoyo asked.  
" Ano..." Xuyan turned to Eriol, who was shaking his head solemnly. " Gomen nasai, Tomoyo-chan. You can, however, keep an eye on Syaoran. Trust me, you'll know when the spell is starting to wear off." At this, Tomoyo beamed. I could tell that she was feeling a little left out.  
" I'll do it." Kaho nodded.   
" Be quiet, we all will." Spinel rebuked. " Does Syaoran know about this?"  
" Iie."  
" Nani?!" They all cried. I winced.

There was a bright lightning, and a thunder crash.  
" It's raining?" Kero blinked. " Whoa, that was sudden."  
  
Eriol stood up and walked over to the window, looking out.  
" The truth is," He answered softly, " Syaoran has gone. He is now as dead as he ever will be. Right now, he can't take anything. Not even something that's good for him."

  
  
" Voice Card." I placed it in the middle of the floor. The card glowed and the picture became one like a carving in a stone wall.  
" Silent Card." I put the card right next to it. " Shield Card." I put it under. " Invisible." I put it on top. Then all of us, Xuyan, Eriol, Kaho, Spinel, Ruby Moon, Yue, who looked pretty tired already, Kerberus, and I joined hands above the cards that seemed to be carved into stone.

" _From the depths of our magic,  
We summon a barrier,  
Against the enemy that attacks by terror.  
We summon the powers, of the moon,  
Sun,   
And Star,  
Protect the one that we mean to protect,  
From darkest shadows, near and far.  
Cards of Sakura, Mistress of the Star,  
Obey the command of us mages here.  
Voice, Silent, Invisible, Shield,  
Release your magical power,  
With the magic of the sun, star, and moon!_"

I felt the flash. It was like en explosion, more deadly than lightning. Yet none of us were harmed. There was more to the incantation, though.

" _Son of darkness, son of light,  
Protect with the guardian beast of gods,  
Voice, to find the owner's tongue,  
And Silent, to fight against all odds-"_

There was another flash. It was different from all the other spells I had spoken. Eriol stretched out his hand and placed another card on top of mine.  
_That was Syaoran-kun's card..._

" _Shield, protect from coming vengeance,  
Invisible, conceal from darkness' eye,  
Cards of the Star, reveal the might,  
Let powers greet the day and night!"_

  
  
The next morning Syaoran looked a little better, although he was still cautious. The spell, undoubtedly, had worked. He suddenly looked more tired than scared, and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. He was not afraid of Tomoyo anymore, but he still eyes Kaho suspiciously. Poor Kaho, I could tell she was a little hurt this time. There was something about him that seemed strange. It should be normal that he was on guard. But now that I think of it it wasn't normal at all. I guess it was because he was supposed to trust us.

  
  
" I figured out why Syaoran's behaving like this _this_ time." Xuyan pulled me closer, whispering. " It's the Dragon."  
" The dragon?"  
" Hai. The Dragon is protecting him. We casted the spell, the dragon got uneasy and I think offended."  
" Why?" I asked.  
" Because he was supposed to protect him." Xuyan said uneasily. " By casting the spell, we are like saying ' you're no good.'"  
" Hoee..." I blinked. " So what do we do?"  
" I don't know. That's what I think." Xuyan snuck a peek at Eriol, who was talking with Tomoyo. " And something is troubling Eriol-kun as well."  
" Does the dragon's rage affect Syaoran?" I asked.  
" Depends. Once I saw the dragon on Syaoran's robes writhing. The thing is _in _his robes, Sakura. That was why it needed to change in the first place."  
" So...it is actually right there, in front of us?"  
" Hai. How else? The dragon does not care that we are helping Syaoran. The dead know, but the dragon doesn't. It is simply protecting Syaoran, as intelligent as it may be. To the dragon, all of us, except Tomoyo, since the dragon can't see her, Eriol, whom the dragon is familiar with, you, me, because the dragon knows who we are, and Yue, since Syaoran and Yue share the same blood, are Syaoran's enemies. Which is kind of why the three shamans couldn't go near him, why Syaoran's distrustful of Kaho-san, Nakuru and Spinel, along with Kero."  
" That's true. Could Yamazaki have magical powers?"  
" If he does, he would stop blabbering." Xuyan chuckled. " Iie, he doesn't have any, but I have a hunch that he has some item that is magical."  
" The good part of Syaoran avoiding Yamazaki," I began, " Was that he is no longer led the wrong way-"  
" He never was." Xuyan snorted. " He simply didn't know what to believe. Although the sloth thing _was_ stupid. I still can't believe you were dumb enough to challenge the Power Card in a tug of war, Sakura, that was also quite retarded. But no matter. Syaoran helped you win anyway-"  
" Nani?"  
" Now, somehow we have to get the Dragon to calm down," Xuyan changed the subject dramatically. " So at least he'll recognize people."  
" Right now, it seems to just snarl."  
" That's true. It's not too serious as of yet, but you never know." Xuyan sighed. Then he turned to me.  
" Sakura-chan," He began, " We're all going to try to help Syaoran. But the rest of us can only do so much. Right now, Syaoran trusts you, Eriol, Yue, and me. And so far, I guess we're the only one that can help him. Out of us, you are the most powerful."  
" So...I have to try harder."  
" Harder than the rest of us, Sakura. Other than Yue, Syaoran trusts you the most."  
" But you're his cousin!"  
" I was also his rival."  
" And Eriol-"  
" Eriol was a threat. Listen, Sakura. Syaoran loves you deeply. No doubt the dragon feels it too. You have to try to get the dragon to calm down."  
" How?"

But Xuyan was already walking away.

  
  
It was amazing, actually, how quickly Syaoran recovered, if Kaho, Nakuru, Spinel, the three sorcerors and Kero left him alone. He had added a little flesh to his bones and actually looked a little more normal. But once Kero appeared, or Kaho, or Spinel, Syaoran flinched, backed away, remained as mute as still stone. Most of the time he hid behind Yukito, or Yue.

And in the back of my mind, there was a smooth wall, and Syaoran, in his robes, was carved into the smooth stone, his hands covering his face from some unknown attack. 


	7. Chapter 7 Yue

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 7-Yue

It was a Monday morning. Syaoran didn't go to school for two weeks. He was in no condition to go anyway. Most of the time he was quiet, smiling sometimes, and curls up on Yukito's lap at naptime. He was quite adorable, especially when he sleeps, now that I think of it.

He was just so calm, so innocent, so pure and worry free when he was asleep, as if nothing in the world has or will harm him.

Sometimes at night, when he was curled up in my arms, breathing deeply, in deep slumber, I would stroke his hair and wonder how I had ever had the heart to challenge him at the Final Judgement. But then, I didn't have much of a heart. Nor did I know how much trouble my child has within him.

I vowed to protect him. No matter what happens. Even if it means turning against my mistress.

  
  
_He needs food._  
_Hai, food, for living. He's hungry._

God, how do you know? I asked. But the dead know everything.  
" Syaoran, are you hungry?" I asked.  
" Hm? Hungry?" The boy blinked. " Hai." And just then there was a nice growl.

_See what we mean?_

Hai, hai, I thought with annoyance. They are always so proud, the dead.   
" What do you want to eat?" I asked.  
_Give him noodles.  
Why?  
He needs to eat something besides medicine and chocolate.  
He _does_ eat others.  
True, but noodles is fast. Especially instant._

The logic was so annoying.

  
  
_The child needs rest._  
I'd think the dead would trust me that I am able to take care of my own son.  
" Syaoran, you look a little tired." I said to him.  
_The dead are as much of his parents as I am._ I thought. " Do you want to take a nap?"

Syaoran had actually slept truly frequently during the daytimes. Mostly on my lap, as if doing so made him sleep easier. It was actually quite touching. And the sleep made him look better anyway. Much more rested.

He nodded, we made our way to the couch and I sat down, Syaoran curled up on my lap. He fell asleep immediately.  
_Adorable, isn't he?  
I thought you have no emotions.  
We didn't, until the child came.  
Do you despise the emotions?_ I asked.  
_No, actually, we don't._ The dead answered eerily. _We are fond of him, Moon Angel._  
_I guess I should be happy.  
This is the first time we have ever aided the living, Moon Angel. But we love the Half Mortal. He does not deserve to remain in our world. He deserves to be in the world of light.  
So he does._

" Konnichiwa, Yuki-san!" Touya called, shutting the door behind him. I was slightly startled.  
" Touya. I didn't hear you coming." I said softly.  
" Of course you didn't. You were talking with those dead spirits, weren't you?" Touya wiped some leaves off his jacket as he set his bookbag down. Then he saw Syaoran.  
" Oops." He whispered. " How many times has he slept today?"  
" It's nine." I told him. " First time."  
" Good thing it's May." Touya grumbled. " And summer has started for college people. Otherwise, I don't think the kid's going to sleep a wink."  
  
Touya sat down beside me. " How kawaii." He muttered, brushing a strand of hair out of Syaoran's face. " Children look the same when they sleep, eh? I'd swear he was Sakura."  
" I suppose." I said uneasily, keeping my voice down.   
" How much does he sleep nowadays anyway?" Touya asked.  
I ignored the question. " It seems the sleep is a much better medicine. A lot of stress has been falling off. I still miss his cello playing."  
" Hai, he's pretty good." Touya nodded. " The Mozart and the second Yo Yo Ma. Maybe you can change your last name to Ma instead of Tsukishiro."  
  
Somehow, the name of " Yukito Ma" was not intriguing.

" That is an idea." I said uncomfortably. Syaoran shifted on my lap.

For a moment we were silent.  
" Touya?"  
" Hai?"  
" Do you think Jingxi could ever live normally?"  
" Hey, for once the great Yue, Guardian of the Clow Cards, is asking _me _the question, and is doubting himself! This is a start!" But Touya quickly calmed down. " That's a hard one Yue. It depends if Syaoran has the strength."  
" He had the strength. I know he still does. But he's so tired Touya."  
" Aren't we all Yue?" Touya stroked Syaoran's dark hair as he leaned back, looking at the boy. " Syaoran is taking all of our strength. It is even more tiring than when Sakura has her fevers. Because Syaoran is..."  
" The child of everyone."  
" Hai."  
" I hope he lives long enough at least...to be happy."  
" Without all those creepy caves." Touya sighed. " Even that seems too much to hope for, but anyway. How old is he?"  
" He's still eleven. He's going to turn twelve in two months."  
" There you go. He fought this disease for twelve years. Surely he'll live long enough to find a cure. And with the dead and the dragon protecting him, as well as a very loving father, the odds are even now."  
" I guess I should feel proud."  
" You should. If you didn't come here we would have lost him by now. And Kero and I would never have known what a boy he is!"  
" He certainly didn't seem like a good boy in the beginning." I faced Touya. " He hid it so well Touya. What if we hadn't realized it now? Then...then..."  
" Forget it, we realized it, that's all that matters." Touya said quickly.  
" Honestly," I sighed, Touya was the only one I could trust my feelings with other than Syaoran, " I don't know what I'm going to do if I lost him."  
" You shouldn't think such thoughts."  
" But...I can't stop. The odds...they're not even. Syaoran is in grave danger of losing his will. He lost it once."  
" And recovered. Because of you. How come we can never get those two together?'

I knew he meant Sakura and Syaoran.

Jingxi moaned and opened his eyes sleepily. He gave a wide yawn, stared straight up at Touya.  
" Hi." He said in Cantonese. " Touya-Touya?"   
" Hehe," Touya sweatdropped. " Gomen. Did I wake you?"  
" Iie," Syaoran gave another yawn. I honestly never saw him yawn before the summer of last year.  
" What are you doing here?" Syaoran asked sleepily.  
" Visiting." Touya chuckled. I'd swear he would have said kawaii if he could.  
" Do you have any gum or candy?" Syaoran yawned again. " I'm hungry."  
_He had a good dream for once._ The dead whispered.  
" Any ice cream, Daddy?" He asked in Chinese, stretching out his full length on the sofa. Touya laughed at him.  
" Ice cream?" I lifted Syaoran's body off, then got up, setting him back down. Ice cream! I was certainly in the mood for it.

  
  
Xuyan came home from school at about three fifteen.  
" That's it, I'm going to tune my violin, and if anyone asks ' how's school' I will personally put him in a headlock." He stormed to his room.  
  
Eriol appeared at the doorway, smiling, pretty amused. " Wow, he actually learned a phrase, and translated it well too! But he did have a horrible day, kept on falling asleep. How are you, Syaoran-kun?"  
" Fine." Syaoran said, and remained silent. He was reading on the couch.  
" Well, he seems to be getting better." Sakura appeared behind him.  
" Is Tomoyo there with you?" Syaroan asked, not looking up.  
" Wherever Sakura-chan is, I'm there!" Tomoyo hopped in, video camera once again up in her eye. " Konnichiwa, Syaoran-kun!."  
" Konnichiwa. Shizuka ni, I'm reading."

Touya and I just stared at the scene. Something really happened here. The mood lightened dramatically.  
" Who made a dent in my tuning fork?!" Xuyan yelled.  
" Oh." Syaoran looked up. " Ano, Gomen nasai! I accidentally stepped on it. You left it on the carpet."  
  
Xuyan had this strange look that made everyone laugh, and then he growled, reentering his room.  
" What's wrong with him?" Syaoran asked going back to his book. He had a grin on his face, because I think he was up to the part where the duke and the duchess were fooling Don Quijote into thinking his Dulcinea would be disenchanted. Or maybe they were fooling Sancho Panza.

Yukito always did love that book.

" What are you reading?" Eriol asked curiously.  
" The adventures of Don Quijote."  
" Oh that book, I always loved that book. Mi quiero este libro."  
" Damare. I don't understand Spanish."  
" Oh, right, you're more of a chaligraphy type, not characters..."  
" Spanish isn't hard." I blinked.  
" For people who speak a language that was mothered by Latin, iie." Eriol smiled. " But Syaoran speaks Chinese."  
" I speak a little English, actually."  
" You do?" This time, Eriol had spoken in English.  
" You know," Syaoran smirked, speaking in English, with a slight accent, " The dead has taught me much."

Eriol grinned, pointing a finger at him, smiling at me, " You son never ceases to amaze me. The cello was a shock enough. Looks like his name fits him better than I would have guessed."  
" Shizuka ni! I'm reading."  
" Alright, alright, geesh, he has a temper."  
Tomoyo giggled.

  
  
_He's getting stronger now. Must go to the cave with him.  
But he doesn't want to.  
True, but he must go. And you must take him.  
Why?  
Because now there lies a cure, Moon Angel. If you trul love your son, you will do as we command.  
But he is terrified of that place.  
He must face his fear.  
Why?  
Because he must survive. And he cannot survive without courage._

True, I thought to myself. He's been afraid lately. But one cannot blame him. Who was that voice that scares him anyway?

And then I heard something very reassuring.

_Do not despair, Moon Angel. The forces of fate are on your side. Your child has yet to live. _


	8. Chapter 8 Eriol

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 8-Eriol

" Sure." I said. " I know this song."  
" This is a song?" Yue asked.

We were in the cave. Yue had called and asked if I could come with them. Syaoran didn't want to go, of course. But he was forced to. It was the will of the dead. And the will of the dead must be obeyed.

We had arrived in the evening, somewhere around seven. The cave had appeared, as always, quite old. This time, the door did not close behind us as we walked in. And there was an ancient inscription on the wall, far ahead of us. And that was what Yue was talking about.

" This is an ancient chant, sort of." I answered. " It goes something like this."

And I began to sing softly, for the cave was quiet.

" _In the end,  
Come to cherish in the sun and  
Wake in the morn so now  
Be brave,  
For the night is not yet come to pass,  
The moon has not risen and the sun not set  
Whence the wind comes?  
Blowing softly never falter  
Listen closely to its words.._

A ma ne, je ni ke dou  
Sei na ye, lehuinei,  
Ya sufa, gona misha  
Shala teya fei tu ka?  
A ma sei sa lai tu mei fou douke re ma la tu ka,  
Tuk in mila fa, fa su pei..."

There was some quality in the chant that had soothed Syaoran into calmness. Or rather, I think, into a trance. I studied him as I continued to chant, and realized he began to slump, Yue supporting him.

_" Ke nei,  
Shi mei ya fu kuang,  
Shi mei ya, lei tu rang,  
Ze da nong ku ren lei mei,  
Su lei shang de yang..._

Listen,  
Blowing wind knows of you pain,  
Let it calm you down,  
Silken cloth doth brush your hair  
Let yourself begone...

_Si lei ha fa ni bu li,  
Suo na lei shen ti wei ni,  
Clo shik na de hen duo xin,  
Jing lan ka pian di rong yi,  
So mi de,  
De mi ne..._

_Hear the words of the wind who knows,  
Let all evil cleanse away,  
Face the light and close your eyes,  
Join with the radiance come by,  
Be the light,  
Light within..."_

" Syaoran, daijoubu?" Yue asked, worried.  
" Hai..." Syaoran looked so tired. I wondered if it was the ancient song.  
" Maybe you should sit down a little." I suggested.  
" Sit down?" He blinked. " Oh, ugh..."

  
  
" So what is going to happen?"

I was wondering myself. Syaoran sat at the base of the tree. It was nighttime. We were out of the cave, in quite a hurry actually.

Syaoran had perked up, completely alert, and we heard a low growl sound. A dim light had flashed in the deeper parts of the cave. There was a small wind, coming from _inside_ the cave, and we didn't tell ourselves twice to get out of there.

And Yue had an expression on his face that was never on his. Never.

He looked so tired, so confused, so lost, cuddling his child to him, staring at me, simply begging me to do something. But what is there to be done? We definetely tried our best. But there was something in that cave now. Something dangerous.

And the dead are silent.

  
  
" Come on," I grumbled with gritted teeth. " Don't abandon us now."  
" They haven't." Yue perked up his head, blinking.   
" What do they say?" I asked.

But Yue didn't answer.

  
  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, this is short, but oh well. Next up, Sakura-chan! But I can't help mentioning that I had recently been able to watch YuGiOh, and I seriously think that it is quite good, except for the sorry fact that the ' creator of Duel Monsters' is hooked on comic books. I mean, HELLO!!! A well educated man reading comic books. That's like, so sad, and so seriously _wrong_, I mean, I understand Japan is all over comic books but I thought that educated people are supposed to ' like things far more sophisticated than childish whims'. Still, I think that thing with Pegasus is so _sad_... Does anyone besides me think Kaiba looks somewhat like Touya? Or actually, his hair does, never mind. And Joey looks like the taller and more dullwitted version of first season's Yamato from Digimon-wait, Yamato wasn't dullwitted and neither was Joey. He's just immature. And does anyone besides me think that something's seriously wrong with Yugi's hair? I mean, his hair is _naturally_ multicolored. That must be one sorry life he has. Don't get me wrong, I think YuGiOh is pretty good. It's a lot darker than Card Captor Sakura-but what the heck! I'm not able to watch that show anymore anyway.


	9. Chapter 9 Sakura

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 9-Sakura

The memory of that night was very dim. I had a dream, and dreams were my natural abilities, when they are prophetic. Syaoran was engulfed in flames, his eyes burning like the fire he was in. There were feathers, blacked and scorched, fluttering in the wind. Dark shadows creeped through the flames. And from the center, a great, magnificent dragon slowly writhed its way out of the roaring fire, its neck long, its body glistening with its golden scales, muscles tight underneath. It raised its huge head towards the sky and gave a loud cry. It was terrible. There was a whisper, a hush, and the flames faded, taking Syaoran with them. It was morning.

I woke up to the sound of birds singing. Syaoran's sister wasn't kidding about the birds when she told Tomoyo she woke up at five. The birds never stop talking. They sound sweet, but after a while it gets annoying, especially when you're trying to get some shut eye. They don't sing lullaby songs, like crickets, which you get use to after a while. They sing, they chirp, they do all kinds of weird stuff, like a classical music, and so there's always something new, and once in a while a shrill and piercing cry sounds. Not nice for sleeping.

After some failing attempts to go back to sleep, I finally gave up. Because birds chirping and a growling stomach is not something you could ignore. The dream was not unpleasant, although it wasn't pleasant either. I didn't wake up in sweat. I did wake up annoyed. And then, after I got up, the music of the birds and my stomach grumbling was mixed with Kero-chan's snoring. Today, I thought, was not going to be a good day.

  
  
There are weird times like this, when something very bright shines through all the gloom, like today. Because omens have a weird way of affecting people. Kero woke up sometime later, Oni-chan was eating lunch. Calling me kaijuu; he never stopped, unfortunately, although I was pretty comfortable since he also calls Jingxi chan kaijuu. Sometimes Eriol-kun, although rarely, because Eriol rarely does anything stupid. We all shared the same counter attack.

" Yeow!!!"

I guess anyone could figure out what I did.

Oni-chan limped to the kitchen to wash his plate. Last day of school graduation, for me that is. And so off I went. I couldn't possibly be late this time, because I woke up at five, so at most I would be on time.

  
  
Graduation was nothing special. We had a fan, it blew all the papers away so we had one of those parades they have when they throw strings of paper around. Only this time it was more like doves, divebombing us. Papercuts are not comfortable. It was pretty hot, but we didn't suffer like Oni-chan and Yukito-san. Nothing special. We sang stupid songs, there were tons of speeches, yahoos, and off we went straight to the reception for some ice. Singing is hot work.

Ice, a bottle of soda, and some cookies. More than enough to satisfy our stomaches. Syaoran-kun and I share one quality. Too much junk food gives us stomach aches. The only problem is neither of us knew our limits, so it wasn't long before we went to the bathrooms. Tomoyo was smart. Hai, she was really smart. She ate some ice, drank some soda, and then busied herself with taping us, while we are in the cafeteria, that is. Oni-chan and Yukito -san had a good dose of it. Syaoran definetely did not take Yukito's trait for when it comes to eating.

  
  
We went home very full. Yukito, Syaoran, and Xuyan went one way, Eriol went his way, Tomoyo-chan went her way, and me, oni-chan and Otou-san went the other. Of course, the ways are all directed to home. ( Some people need that.)

Oni-chan and I managed to sneak some food into our packages for Kero, who gorged on them as if there was no tomorrow. I wasn't in the mood to deal with him-I needed to go to the bathroom again.

That night was nothing special. Oni-chan and I flipped through the TV channels, those ' haha' shows that aren't even funny.

The next morning, there was a phone call. From Kaho-san.

" Ohayo Sakura-chan." She had said, and I could see her smiling. " There's something you need to know. The night before yesterday, Eriol went with Yue..."

  
  
There was a huge transition in the days that followed. A part of the dead body has become restless. Syaoran was attacked. And we saw the dragon in action for the first time. I still remember it.

He was like my dream. Engulfed in flames. The dragon rose out of his robes and raised a loud cry. But there was a flash. The flames blew up, like bombs, and settled back. A whisper, a hush, and the flames faded, taking Syaoran along with him. But this time, night was suddenly white, the sky was blazing, as if it had lit up with fire itself.

There were murmurs, musical murmurs, wails, whispers, mutters, and silence. The Stone of Renague glowed bright white. Then all was dark and still, silent, empty, like the void of the dead. Except this time, we were just as empty as the dead. As silent, mute, still...

  
  
" _I _have absolutely _no_ idea how that had happened, so stop bombing me with questions!" Syaoran cried, very _very_ annoyed. " I know exactly what you know. Big flames, huge dragon, and then just plain nothing. Then I woke up here!"

And ' here', was actually the cave, the same cave where all the fates had been carved on the wall. This time, we were right in front of Syaoran's fate, as well as my fate, and there was another carving, this time of Syaoran, for some reason riding the golden dragon, and I was standing there watching like some sort of princess in St. George and the Dragon. Only, of course, there was no dragon slaying, and Syaoran was riding on it.

Eriol sat down with a resigned look and he seemed equally annoyed. Not because Syaoran wouldn't answer but because we couldn't get out of there. And if all these events seem to be happening quickly, or written down in a hurry, then I had done a good job, because that was exactly how it was; everything happened in a hurry, with no explanation and no cause.

We later found out we were stuck in that cave for two days, during which nothing really happened to us, no hunger and no thirst, except Yue began to fade. He had strained himself and endured so much stress, worrying over Syaoran's health and well being as well as caring for the rest of us, that the entrapment in the cave came right on time for his collapse.

During those two days we found out some very interesting information. Syaoran's soul was named Tenko; The Clow Cards respond to Tenko so they are able to help him and they are the key to his recovery, somehow. About a third of the dead had been misled and are turning against Syaoran. The Dragon chooses who it defends, so Syaoran was actually the chosen one. Yue is not just a guardian, he is able to join the immortal council if he wants to. Xuyan is actually the guardian to the gate of the dead, which explains his robes. I was the Mistress of all cards, so I command every one of them.

This whole bunch of information came to us at the same time, inscribed neatly on the wall, for the first time in Japanese characters instead of pictures.

We were let out in the morning, or was it noon? Hai, it was noon, the sun was right above us. We were pretty desperate for fresh air, truthfully. But Yue couldn't come out on his own. Kero had to carry him. And everything went wrong.

The dead decided to attack, not Tenko, as you may think, but Yue. The poor guardian began to scream and writh. Jingxi ran over and tried to comfort his father but he couldn't. I called out the Sleep Card and quieted him down a little, and then the Dream Card to form a barrier. Syaoran went out cold, perhaps to negotiate with the dead, and then the Dragon on his robes began to move, clamping its teeth freakishly. The stone began to flash, flashing again and again in a strange purple light.

There was a loud explosion, and the impact had all of us flat on the ground, paralyzed. It lasted for about ten minutes, and when we got up, _both_ Jingxi and Yue were gone.

And then everything went black. 


	10. Chapter 10 Syaoran

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 10-Syaoran

Sakura is a good writer. A very good writer.

We were in a dark hall, my father and I. A dark hall, like that of a castle. The acoustics went overboard here, one can hear a pin drop around ten times or so when dropped once. The walls and ceiling were made of stone bricks, gray and eroded. There were steps leading farther down and others leading farther up. We did not know which way to go at first, we didn't know where we are, but Father felt the walls and guessed that we were somehow underground. There was a silence and a few whispers in between.

I was seriously scared, that I would admit freely. I felt for my father's hand. He looked down and gave me a smile, the kind he saves for me alone. It was a reassuring smile, accompanied by a squeeze of my hand. I managed a smile back, but I was so scared, so scared. Finally, I gave in and clung on my father's leg.

July 9th, in four days I will be twelve. And I was still acting like this.

I could tell that Father was tired. Very tired. But he managed to stay strong that time. I slid off him guiltily, remembering how he had fainted before because of me.  
" Gomen nasai..."  
" For what?" Father asked, confused.

I didn't answer.

Father had always been there for me. Somehow I had the one I wanted, without knowing it. A father that cares, a father that loves, a father that is brave and has confidence in me. Even if he was torn after Sakura's accident, I still love him as well. He made my draughts very well, if they are bitter, and always had a chocolate ready, as promised. There were times when I would feel queasy and weak, times when I felt nauseous and in pain. There is no use hiding that from him; he knows in an instant. And the best part is he always supports or comforts me in a less obvious way, at least in public. At home, well, that's a different story, but the truth is I like being pampered, being the youngest. Just not in front of everyone.

Father was everything I had ever wanted.

And yet I lost so much. It is strange and seems quite unfair, to me at least, that I should trade my whole family just to have one person. But I had realized another thing. No would could be like my father. Not even my mother. She and I were never that close, neither of us understands the other. My sisters? They do cheer me, do annoy me, as siblings do sometimes, but they were awfully exhausting. The rest of my family, they don't understand me, don't know me. Not even Meiling.

And I got more than my father. I got true friends. True friends. You see, everyone has a family, good or bad. But true friends, friends you can trust your life with, well, that's different. Because in this world not everybody cares about you. They each put themselves on the top priority. And you have to be careful about what you say because...they can always turn on you, one way or another. They won't understand you. They certainly won't waste their time helping you if it involves their whole lifetime, like my case.

And I still got a family. A large, mass of unknown members, but a family all the same. And I got my father.

He was always there. At night, when dead ones attack, dead ones I have never seen before, I open my eyes and he was there, in his true form, shaking me awake, sometimes with a stone in his hand, sometimes not, sometimes reaching for it. I'm safe now, he'd tell me. Nothing has happened. But he knew as well as I that those dreams are as real as the term reality. They were very real. They have happened. Sometimes if they were very bad Father would stay by my side the rest of the night. Sometimes holding me if worse. His heart always had a nice rhythm, that of a lullaby. At daytime he, as Yukito, would tease me a little. Brighten the day. Sometimes attacking with tickles. Those were the worst. Because then Xuyan joined in.

I didn't know such things had worn him out until that incident in the cave. I never thought about it. I should have, I guess. I should have, but what could I honestly do? I could hide nothing from him. One discomfort and he knows. It's like he was reading my mind.

" It's alright, Syaoran." Yue pried me off his leg and bent down to hug me. " I'm here. I don't think we're in any sort of danger..."  
" What's that?" I cried, and instantly regretted it. My voice echoed so many times someone was bound to hear it. But I called because a heavy wave of magic lashed out towards us and then faded. This type of magic was different. It felt different. More different then anything I felt before.  
" By the lord," Yue whispered. " I thought they were extinct."  
" Who? What?" I asked, looking around frantically.   
" Syaoran," Yue pulled me close. " I need you to stay quiet. No sound. And stick to me always."  
I nodded. He smiled. Then he stood up, picking a direction, holding my hand we walked up the steps and into the hall. Our footsteps sounded loud, until both of us muffled it. There is a type of walking that makes no sound.

Father suddenly gave a cry, and I felt his body jerk backwards.  
" Easy now!" I heard a voice, powerful and mighty. " Do you always have to use force?"  
" I'm sorry." It's in Mandarin, I realized. " I was hoping to stop him."  
" Truly, you must control your staff." There was a feminine voice. " For it has been a time since you've used it."  
" Who-who's there?" I asked, in Mandarin, not my best language, but I still know it. I must have spoken with quite an uncomfortable accent.  
" Ah..." There was the feminine voice. " The child sounds quite young, does he not?"  
" What do you want?" Father's voice called. I turned around and around, but there was suddenly a black sort of smoky aura, covering my vision. I could not see him or the voices that spoke.  
" Relax, relax, dear boy." Said the powerful voice, this time gentle and tender." Do not fret, no harm shall come to you. We wish only to help if we may."  
" Where are you Syaoran?" Father's voice asked after some hesitation. " Where is he?"  
" Right here, a little lost, I'll bet." A hand rested on my shoulder and I gasped. Behind me was a tall woman, wearing a dark purple robe, a broomstick in hand?  
" There he is." Said the second male voice. " Come little one. You've been through quite a lot lately-"  
" Where are you taking him?" Father's voice suddenly rang out.  
" Oh...a very protective parent." There was a silence. Then the form of the voice appeared. He was...a wizard.  
" No way..." I whispered. Wizards and witches were thought to be extinct. Mostly because it was thought the last one was killed by a magician. Like sorcerors, wizards can be good or evil. The difference between the two are that wizards are completely dependent on their staffs, while for sorcerors staffs are merely meant to store a little power if the body has too much, or to symbolize one's status. Witches specialize in potions. They also carry staffs, and are completely dependent on them. Wizards and witches, also, are immortals.  
  
The wizard turned to me and smiled. Then he looked troubled.  
" Well, such things could be made good, however..." He looked uncomfortable this time. " I doubt that it would work this time...you two would have to be separated for the good of both of you."  
" How do I know if I could trust you?" Father asked. He looked a little panic strickened. I guess I must have looked the same.  
" Like father like son." The wizard had said, confusing both of us. " I don't suppose you have much choice-the entire area belongs to us, and you can easily get lost and never come out again. In addition I believe the child is in need of some...energy." He eyed me queerly. " And as you probably noticed there is not much light down here so nothing can grow. The boy is still half mortal. Like your false form, my dear boy. And for the time being you're trapped here; the gates to the outdoors is a little stuck. I have no idea how you got in here, but since you did we wish to be of some use. The half mortal, as you know, is quite famous to all those who practice magic. And we do not wish to anger the dead. Even if a few of them are absurd enough to abuse him."  
" Jealous, I'll reckon." Said the witch behind me. " Come along, little one, let's get you something to eat. Richard? You might want to cast a spell over the Moon Angel. He looks weary."  
  
Father opened his mouth to protest. Richard clamped his hand over his mouth, and circled the top of the staff over my father's head. He instantly relaxed.  
" Now, child, come along, you're safe, no harm shall come to you." The witch led me to a lighted room.

  
  
She was a tall, beautiful woman with an air of mystery about her. A long face with full cheeks, with eyes far apart and are filled with different colors, green, blue, and gray. Long lashes vieled her large eyes and her brows were finely traced. Her hair was honey brown, soft and slightly curly, and a long, thin neck, with slim shoulders. Her nose was high and narrow, and her lips were thin and only slightly colored. Right now she had a nice look in her eyes, one that was friendly and kind, understanding and gentle.   
" Wa," I immediately turned my attention to the food.  
" Cool! That is the half mortal?" Asked one of the children. " He is!"  
" Children, do calm down." Said the tall witch, squeezing my hand reassuringly.   
" But Sarah, we've never-"  
" He's tired. He's been through quite a lot. I don't doubt he's hungry?" Sarah replied.

The children sighed and one of them dragged me over to a seat.   
" This is much better than any food you'll ever eat up there." he said.  
" Yeah!" Cried a girl. " Try this."  
I had absolutely no idea what the food was called.  
" Like it?"  
" Ah...yeah," I said in Mandarin, " I guess. What is this?"  
" If we told you, you wouldn't like it. It's one of those foods." She answered.  
  
I cocked an eyebrow and then bit in. It was a weird taste of sour and sweet, with something else I couldn't quite describe.  
" Oh." I said.  
" Don't worry. It's healthy." Said the girl. " My name is Toshira. Mimi Toshira."  
" And I'm George Smeals." Said the boy next to me.  
" Oh, nice to meet you-"  
" We know who you are. You're Li Jingxi." Said another boy.

Mimi Toshira was a sweet looking girl, with a wide face and full cheeks. Deep green eyes, not like Sakura's, but more like those of a cat's, ones that have a yellowish tint to them. She had brown hair, a little puffy, but brown. George was more of the average kind, about my height but naturally a lot more fleshy. He had black hair and hazel eyes, with a large nose, thin lips that seem to quiver whenever he talked. There was something about him that was shy, another very excited. He had a British accent; not the best for Mandarin.

The hall was very bright. There was a great deal of talking, mostly about me or directed at me. I didn't really like being the center of attention in a group of strangers. 

I learned a lot about what was going on. These...wizards, never exactly died out. They came underground. Or into another dimension. But this dimension was underground, or rather, equivalent to it. And they have never seen the sun or moon. Mimi is thirteen years old. George was also thirteen. Some were nine, some ten. There was a wide range of nine to fifteen in this particular dining room.

I made a great deal of friends. And the next day, I think, next day, which was yesterday, George showed me how to use the staff.

" Just hold your hand out with the staff and say the spell." He told me.

To which I made quite a few accidents.

But in all seriousness the wizards were kind. The first voice that had spoken was the oldest wizard of them all, he had a hooked nose and a long long beard. When Father woke up they released us into the outside world, and when I thanked them, they said I was welcome anytime.

  
  
Why they brought us to that realm I didn't find out until today. They studied my magical skills and George came in the morning to tell me the old wizard thought I was not only half mortal, but half wizard. It was very confusing news, indeed, but I accepted it after some hesitation.

" The witches are going to try to make a potion, and then they'll ask the Card Mistress for her cards. Soon you'll be cured!" He was slapping me on the back. I only smiled. That was hopeful news, but I was no longer expecting too much. And neither was Daddy, because we all knew that disappointments may be too much to bear. 


	11. Chapter 11 Nakuru

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 11-Nakuru

There was no doubt that Yue is getting weaker, poor thing! He kept his eye on Syaoran at all times. It was a strange bond between those two-for Syaoran never felt annoyed by all the fuss. He was very understanding.

After receiving the help from the wizards, we were all very much assured. Syaoran seemed to be relieved from most of the tension.

Time came for Xuyan to leave. And the two boys really did become close to brothers. 

" Take care of yourself Syaoran." Xuyan smiled as he started to board the bus. " And don't forget, on the next competition I'm going to beat you!"  
" No way!" Syaoran's face broke out into a smile. " Because at that time I'll be better than ever!"

The two boys laughed, as one departed. Syaoran waved.

We had all expected to see Xuyan again someday. Perhaps we will. But there was great hope. After all, with the help of the wizards, how could things turn bad? And with this promise of good fortune, Syaoran and Sakura went on their first date.

It was _sooo_ kawaii! During the school year Syaoran was busy worrying about homework and managing to stay awake at school. Now with all that pressure off he could finally earn the chance to love someone. It was so nice and thoughtful of Syaoran to bring Sakura to his little special place. Although...he wouldn't tell me what it is. And neither would Sakura.

I guess it is one of their more private moments. Ones they get to share alone under the night sky, or something like that.

This summer, however, was worse than last year, and just being out would roast you completely.  
  
So there was not much to do. Eriol, went back to England. It was a lot cooler there, of course. We enjoyed it.

George went over to Syaoran's one time, as Sakura wrote in her letter. He popped up as Syaoran was practicing his cello.

" Gyah! How did you do that?" Syaoran yelled.  
" Shh!" George hushed. " I wasn't supposed to be here."  
" Oh, right." Syaoran nodded.   
" What's going on?" Sakura blinked. " Who's he? Oh, George?"  
" That is one super nice cello!" George smiled. " Can I try?"  
" You know how to play?" Syaoran asked.  
" A little." George blushed. " I stopped several years ago. My cello stinks. I switched to violin."  
" Did you get one of those Italian ones?"  
" Italian ones? Those are nice, I guess, but not nice as mine" George smirked. " Can I just try it?"

  
  
Now Eriol was very happy. After about...two years, less actually, but anyway, more than one year of being stuck with that cursed piano of his in Tomoeda he could finally play something good without worrying over popped strings and creaking pedals. Something like ' Pathetique' could have quite punished the piano and given it a beating, but on something like the piano he has now, which was a B piano, Six foot something, it actually sounded quite nice. The Czerny, as always, was boring. The scales? Forget it. So all Suppi and I really listen to now is Beethoven's ' Pathetique', ( which I think is pronounced patheteek, not pathetic,) Chopin's ' Revolutionary', and one of Prokofiev's ' The Young Juliet' from our little Shakespeare couple. To which, of course, we joked about the whole entire thing, calling Sakura the Juliet Capulet-or was it Montague? And poor Romeo! But at least none of them would die-

I hope.

  
  
About a week later, we received a desperate letter from Sakura-chan.

_Dear Eriol-san, Kaho-san, Nakuru-san, Spinel-san,_

The wizards tried to create a potion to help Syaoran heal. I handed them all my cards. But Syaoran grew worse. Try as we might we couldn't help him. Just last week we were at the park, and Syaoran yelled in pain, then started screaming, clutching his chest. Yue and I ran over and tried to calm him, but he simply wailed ' it hurts, it hurts', and then he began hallucinating, calling for Meiling-san and Li-san. It has been going on for days now. I don't know what to do. Can you help me?

Love,  
Sakura

Eriol read the letter and sighed, taking his glasses to polish them. Then he read the letter over again to himself. Kaho stood next to me with a sad expression.

" Twelve years." Eriol sighed. " Twelve years. He is twelve years old. And now the disease is taking its toll."  
" What exactly is going on right now?" Kaho asked.  
" He's seeing things." Eriol sighed. " Pain in the chest. Soon he'll be in so much pain he'll be paralyzed. And I don't know what to do. That's what Sakura wants: my help. But..."  
" How did it happen?" I asked.  
" How did it happen?" Eriol echoed weakly. " Ignorance and Confidence, Ruby Moon. We forgot he was sick or thought that his chances of healing are completely possible. We forgot that he could die. We were so sure he would be cured." There were tears in his eyes. " It's too late." He whispered, and there was a sign of a sob in his voice. " It's too late. We're going to lose him."

  
  
We did not answer the letter Sakura wrote to us, nor the next. We did not answer Yue's letter. Nor Touya's. Because it seemed from that first note that Eriol had realized that all hope was gone. And all the way here in England, there's really nothing we can do.

  
  
Days passed. The sun rose and setted. Syaoran's distant aura grew fainter by each hour, by each day.

I remembered how it all began. It had all started on the day of our graduation. Touya was dumping that water all over his head when Syaoran had a tiny pain attack, which had gotten them all wet and ruined Tomoyo's umbrella. And then there was a phone call that had Syaoran go back to Hong Kong, and we followed. Then there was Yue, revealing to be his father. And the herbs, the whole reason why Syaoran was so cold, so hard and so arrogant. All in the effort to protect himself. The reason he never got the Clow Cards. His talent at playing the cello-it was just last year. And then came Xuyan, the night when Syaoran was tricked into drinking almost pure alcohol, and then unable to control his magic, the auras began fighting each other outside of his body. His family died. His aunt and uncle died. Meiling died. And I remember how he had agreed to come with his father to Japan. And the two had grown so close. I remember how he had lost a lot of spirit for a while, before Sakura's accident. Sakura died. And we all ignored him, hating him, hating ourselves, hating everyone. It was too much for Syaoran. He ran away to his old apartment to hide. And after five days, Yukito found him again. How happy he was! And how happy I was, to see those two together again. Then came the three sorcerors, who tried to help him but failed. The day when Sakura came back with such a large price, but it seemed worth it. Syaoran had again given up, exhausted and tired. Yue took him out one night, and Syaoran was able to hover in the air, or glide with the wind. And that night brought back his spirits and his will to live. The cave of prophecies, which showed Syaoran and all of us. School. Syaoran and the soccer team. His admission into the best junior high school. The cave. His strength failing. Yue's strength failing. The wizards. The dead. The Great Dragon.

After one whole year it all just seemed unworthy. Having losing Syaoran after going through so much. After him going through all those long years, drinking bitter herb juices every day. Watching others as he sat out, because he couldn't last long enough. Having to depend on everyone else.

It just seemed so unfair... 


	12. Chapter 12 Yue

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 12-Yue

" But you might have a chance." I say. " You're determined. You can't lose now. After surviving so long..."  
" I'm so tired..." Was his reply.

Wasn't it just a few weeks ago when he was laughing? Now he couldn't even move. It was so many weeks now. He was pale, his cheeks sunken, his eyes clouded and glassy. His wrists were bony and his joints on his fingers swelled. His hair was damp with sweat. He couldn't move; every movement caused him pain. He saw visions of Sakura and himself when they were young. Saw visions of Clow. Saw his mother, his sisters, Meiling. Saw light, the radiant light. Completely dazzling him. But it was only his bedroom. His room. On earth. And the youthfulness of the past years are gone and never to return. Sakura's hair was no longer short; it was shoulder length. His mother did not come. Meiling never appeared.

" I know you are tired." I was crying. " But you can't leave me. You can't leave all of us. And after all you've been through, after all we've been through, you don't deserve this. Please Syaoran-"

He silenced me with a look of his eyes, the clouds pulling apart to reveal the gold beneath.  
" Don't deserve, Daddy?" he smiled, taking my hand with a movement that caused him pain. He hissed. " Don't deserve to die." He blinked and relaxed. " Do we know I don't deserve to die? It isn't our position to judge. You see all those movies and stories where the villain was defeated by the hero, and was spared because the hero didn't want to be as bad as the villain. That is not the right reason, Daddy. The reason is because no one knows what others deserve. We are all at the same level of life. We cannot see everything. And because we cannot see we do not know."  
" Then do I deserve this?" I suddenly asked quietly. " Do you know what immortality feels like?"

He gave me a look, a look that made me feel hopeful. It was a strange look, one of sympathy and search. There was a wavered look in those amber eyes, as if he didn't know what to do or say. A pleading look, almost, and after a long moment he moved his arms, and I embraced him. He was so weak, so exhausted, he could barely breathe. And not even sleep could rest him. He trembled a little, sweating. I let him go.

" Where is Eriol-san?" He suddenly asked.

I blinked. " In England, of course, you knew that."  
" Oh, right." Syaoran tried to sit up. He couldn't.  
" Don't try." I told him. " Just rest."  
" I can't rest as long as I'm trying to stay alive." Syaoran replied, with logic. " Every second is a battle for survival." He closed his eyes. " I'm so tired Yue. It's so hard. I feel myself slipping..."

I watched him. What more could I do? I could not fight his battle for him, as much as I gladly would.

_Tell him to let go for now; we'll help him stay._ The dead whispered in my mind.  
" The spirits will help you. Just relax." I told him. And Syaoran took a look at me, and then he began to shiver. Wave after wave of trembling broke down through him. He broke into cold sweat. Then he collapsed completely into the bed. His eyes closed. When I called him he didn't reply.

  
  
Sakura came in the next day with a few ingredients for honey milk, which is milk, honey, and a little sugar. They were certainly not for Yukito, but Yukito drank some anyway, his throat dry and the pot still boiling water since they ran out of immediate ones. Yukito and I were both very tired, without being able to sleep because we both feared Syaoran would leave any minute.

But surprisingly he hung on, exhausted and afraid, but he clung on with all his will. The dead fell silent, their auras gone, they too, exhausted from the struggle, but the dragon remained, and so did he. Nighttime, and the moon was full and bright. My son struggled out of bed and made his way towards the window. 

It was one of those nights when the air was fresh and cool, rare nights, since it was hot this summer. The sky was black and clear, with no clouds shrouding them. All was silent, not even the crickets called. And when Syaoran leaped out, the fresh winds carried him up. I followed.

He was like a dead leaf born upon the wind, fluttering and twirling like the wings of a butterfly, faded like a dried flower cut off its stem, a shower of petals in the spring that scattered on the ground, to form a colorful carpet of beauty and nature. For he went where the wind went, flew where the wind flew, moved as the wind wishes him to move with no will of his own. It was that night when I realized that this battle was his alone, that as he had gone with the moving breeze, he had gone with the death itself, moving where it wanted to move, going where it wanted to go. And whenever I try to help him, the wind carries him away, so the only thing I could do was simply watch as he was torn away from me. The only difference was the wind brought him back. Would death give him back to me as well? Would he ever heal? Would he ever be happy and fortunate?

Such questions had once made me afraid. Because Clow Reed had also ran through the course of this danger. Terrible diseases lingered in human flesh, not just now, but thousands of years ago. Clow Reed was a mortal man, doomed to die, with a man's strengths and a man's weaknesses. Thousands of years ago man became invincible to the same species alone, and to those above them they cannot hide. Death my creator does not understand and neither do any of the human kind. And just like the tree as she watches the leaf, Clow was torn away from me.

Some diseases kill love. The mere presence poisons the man's strength and weakness. Fear brings love and takes it away, just as life and death comes and goes. And with the loss proven mightier than the strength of the heart, love abandons whom it comforts.

But because we were in doubt of his fate, hope still remains. My hope still remains. Because Syaoran is strong. Syaoran's will is mighty. And unlike how he had ridden the wind, he had fought with the course of death. And death, many a time, had found him hard to lead, slowing its pace to keep up with Jingxi, guiding in circles so he would agree. And perhaps when he is weakest he is strongest. So when death is near death, he will not touch it, will never reach his limit. A sword through his heart will not hinder his struggle. He will hold on to life, hold on to all that's dear to him.

And although I cannot fight his battle for him, I can still offer my support, just as everyone else is. Because in every disease it's the same thing. Doctors may support or give instructions, but the battle is still of the sick.

Perhaps our support will be enough. Perhaps our support of life will cow those of death. And when death stops leading and gives way, Syaoran will be here to stay. Not forever, perhaps. But here to stay. So that he has a future. So that he can know what it is like to be alive without fighting. Because Life is not always a battle. And just because Syaoran is currently fighting, it doesn't mean he always have to.

  
  
" I certainly wish Xuyan was still here." Eriol muttered. He came back in quite a hurry, as if the dogs were on him. " Our little Emperor should be able to do something useful."  
" I know." Sakura agreed. " Alright. Strange that I have to use my left hand for everything. I finished shuffling the cards."  
" I guess the first thing you should do is take out the card that symbolizes Syaoran." Kero guessed.

We basically have no idea what to do.

" That's a good way to start." Eriol agreed. " Sakura?"

Sakura drew the first card. " The Light."  
" The Light?" Nakuru blinked. " That can't be right. One would have thought he was The Fight or...something angelic."  
" Please." Yukito muttered. " The Light would be the Light. He certainly isn't the Dark. Because if he is, he would have become quite bitter some time ago."  
" True." Spinel nodded. " Just put it on the floor."  
" Aye." George was there as well. " Say Eriol," He continued in English, " Is it going to be a circle or a triangle?"  
" What are you talking about?" Tomoyo asked, videotaping the whole thing. It's amazing how she manages to remember such things in such moments.  
" Good question." Eriol knew what he meant. " Sakura?" he asked in Japanese. " is it going to be a web or a pyramid?"  
" Another way to put it." George made a upset face.  
" Seems like a web is more common." Sakura answered absently. " I guess next is the effort to cure him." She drew the next card. " Heal Card."  
" The one that Syaoran gave you." Tomoyo observed.

Sakura hesitated, then putted it to the right of the Light Card.  
" How can we be sure this is right?" I asked.  
" We can't." Spinel answered. " We can only guess."  
" The cards know, don't they?" Sakura asked.  
" I don't know that Sakura." Eriol said softly. " We just have to try. Draw the next card."  
" Next _three_ cards." Sakura interrupted. " Without looking."  
" Why?" I asked.  
" Because the next three plus the Heal make up four." Sakura answered. She drew three, and without looking, placed the cards clockwise around the Light.  
" I'm just drawing cards without looking." Sakura looked at George. " Because that way it's easier to decide."  
" Not really." Kero muttered.

Sakura drew four more cards, and put them around the four cards, this time the square is tilted at a different angle, so each corner of the inner square is facing the middle of the side of the outer square.

" Everyday his aura is fading away." Eriol sighed. " How come the draught doesn't help anymore?"  
" I don't know." I said softly. " Maybe the magic is resisting it."  
" It doesn't matter what the reason is." George said quietly. " He's fading."  
" If only we have the guidance of the dead." Kaho sighed.  
" We do." Sakura answered. " I realized that's how they've been trying to guide me right now. It's a little funny-they don't use a language really. Rather, they use a kind of telepathic communication. Or something like music. I don't know. Sixth sense, perhaps." Sakura sighed. " Now, each of us draws a card, except George."  
" Why?" Kero asked.  
" Because he is a wizard." Sakura sighed. " Come on. We each draw a card and keept it. We _look_ at it, but we keep it. Once the last person draws, the cards in the web would be gone, and in its place would be something activated by some kind of talisman. Come on."

My card was the Fly Card. The Phoenix that soars. Eriol's card was The Watery, spirit that cleanses. Kero's card was the Firey, as was appropriate. Spinel's card was The Time. Nakuru's card was The Sleep, a very strange card for her personality. Sakura's card...

She didn't tell us what her card was. Something special, perhaps, something that meant a lot to her. Because as soon as she looked at it a tear fell from her eye and landed on the floor. The web of cards started glowing and became a pot of flowers, not the flowers like the ones in the gardens; they were bleeding clear drops of liquid. A lovely fragrance filled the room. There was a shimmer of air around the pot of crushed flowers and then there was a silk bag, surrounding the pot. We tried opening it. The silk wouldn't yield. It did not tear, did not open, did not rip or scratch. It simply held. The fragrance wavered and then was gone. 


	13. Chapter 13 Kero

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 13-Kero

I layed near Syaoran's bed.

He was like a fallen snowflake, withering, withering. And then he stopped, but simply is, with no feeling and no growing of anything. He did not heal and he did not worsen, did not grow old and did not grow young. It was as if time, for him, had frozen. A preserved work of art.

Slowly he turned his head towards me, the poor child locks eyes with me. He was wide awake, exhausted but awake, his eyes large and flickering.

" Kero-chan..." He whispered. " Why are you in your true form?"  
" I don't know." And I honestly didn't. " Are you alright?"

It was quiet out, with an occasional wind as a car went by. Syaoran nodded slowly. There was dark circles around his eyes.

" Where's Otou-san?" He asked.  
" He's talking with Touya. Don't worry." I assured him.   
" Oh." Syaoran sighs.  
" You should sleep now." I told him. " Do you want me to go?"  
" Iie. Stay." He whispered. " Don't go."  
" Alright. Relax. You better rest." I nudged him. " So you can save energy."  
" What if I slip?"  
" The stone will help you."  
" Oh."

It was then when I realized he hasn't slept in days. His hand was cold, so cold. The poor child snuggled up next to me and shut his eyes. His body instantly relaxed.

  
  
Mimi glared flatly at Spinel as she twirled her staff.  
" I've come here to see Syaoran."  
" Stop being a baka Suppi." Nakuru said tiredly. " It won't do you any good, after all. Come in."  
" I hear that the Moon Angel hasn't been doing well." The girl continued as she walked in.

We murmured a little. Ever since that night, with the pot and the flowers, Yue had simply collapsed. He was in danger of a nervous breakdown, and even the dead tried to soothe him. Something happened that night. He never spoke of it.

" He's upstairs in his room. Sleeping, I should hope." Nakuru had transformed into Ruby Moon for some reason. " Touya is with him."  
" Poor thing." Mimi mused. " What about the Card Mistress? How is she doing?"

Again we mumbled a little. Ever since that night Sakura had been crying every time she went to bed. For what reason, we don't know. She always clutched the card she drew to her, as if parting with it would kill her.

" Oh." Mimi caught the idea. " And the Reincarnation of Clow?"

Again we murmured. She always manages to ask the health of those who are not healthy. Eriol had remained silent all through the night, and refused to speak thereafter.

Mimi sighed. " That's why the Head Council is so troubled." She shook her head.

She opened the door to Syaoran's room and closed the door behind her. Who knows what they did in there.

  
  
" I'm so glad that they invented instant messaging." Touya typed on the computer. The other line was Violoncello, which was actually Xuyan.

/ Of course I did./ Xuyan typed.

/ Sure./ Touya typed. / So tell us, what happened to that poor kid?/

/ Jingxi was practicing with Meiling./ Xuyan answered after some hesitation. / Outdoors, of course. Syaoran did a high kick at Meiling, who blocked and thrusted it away from her. Syaoran kind of got off balance and the wind blew up./

/ Joy. Must of been quite comical./

/ I teased him endlessly about that. He nearly went up to the roof. We always knew he could ride the wind./

/ Joy./

/ Hai./

" So that was one time Syaoran made a boo boo, kind of what happened to my math teacher." Touya laughed.

/ I have to go now./ Xuyan wrote.

/ Alright. Thanks for everything./ " He was writing down several problems when the wind blew up and the door followed the wind. It banged him to the wall. Yukito remembers it, I'm sure."  
" Ouchies." I replied. Touya went to some website and we just talked.

  
  
" Do you think I'll ever be cured Kero-chan?" Syaoran asked.  
" Have courage." I told him. " Stay strong. You can do it."  
" Domo arigatou." Syaoran said softly. " I wish it could end soon."  
" It might."  
" Twelve years. Twelve years already passed. When I was first conscious of it I thought each year will drag so long, so long. I made it twelve years."  
" You're a remarkable kid."  
" Maybe I would make it in the record books." Syaoran was grinning. " Longest survivor that still carries the incurable and deadly disease. Even people who survived AIDS won't beat that, would they? Twelve years. Hehehe. Twelve long, remarkable years. I remember when I came here. Touya glared at me as if I threatened his very pride. Of course, pretty soon it became ' who's the better hyptnotist'. Touya was so mad. And then that time with the Change Card. You remember that, don't you Kero? We got stuck playing each other for a whole day. Meiling must have given you a hard time. You are good at eating but not cooking, eh?" Syaoran coughed, and smiled again. " I never knew how to use those wings of yours. They are so awfully small. Not like the wings you have right now." He lifted a feather. I felt a little uncomfortable, with the end pointing the wrong way. He released it.  
" Tell me about Clow Reed." He suddenly whispered. " what you usually do with him everyday. You told Sakura, but I'm his descendant. Tell me about everything in those days, Kero."  
" Why didn't you ask your father?" I asked.  
" He loves him too much." Syaoran shut his eyes. " Tell me a story Kero."

I didn't know where to start. His request came as a surprise. I closed my own eyes and thought for a while.

" There was one time when it was raining out..."

  
  
" What is he doing?" Touya asked.  
" Sleeping." I answered, stalking about the room, not feeling like reducing into my smaller form since it was suddenly too...well, small. " I told him a bedtime story."  
" Really? Isn't he a little too old for that?"  
" Wake up, Kinomoto. There are no books about Clow Reed, first of all, and second, you try reading a book when you can barely get up."  
" Never mind. Me stupid."  
" Hai. How is Yue doing?"  
" I'm fine."  
  
I turned around to see Yukito bending down to throw something into the garbage can. He was cutting up shrimp. It was six fifteen.  
" Are you sure?" I asked. " You look a little pale."  
" You baka. He's always pale." Touya pointed out.   
" I'm just a little tired. I have a headache." Yukito replied. He was in his false form but was controlled by Yue. Who knew how he did that.  
" Who wouldn't."  
" So I hear that you taught him some ancient history."  
" It was so boring he fell asleep."  
" How come he never asked me anything."  
" He's afraid he'll pull the wrong strings, genius. Don't you think a musician is capable of being sympathetic?"  
" He is also a fighter." Touya cut in. Yukito and I shot him a glare. He just chuckled.  
" Otou-san isn't coming home until next Friday. Home is so boring. But at least next week he has a four day weekend. We could actually go somewhere. Kyoto, for example."  
" Russia."  
" Be quiet."  
" Hey," I protested. " Russia is also very close you know. Wherever you want to go, you'll have to go by boat anyway." I grabbed a cookie and munched on it. " That's the thing with Japan. It's the size of three to four Taiwans divided into a whole bunch of islands."  
" Hey, China was the one that got all the land. And Russia." Touya mumbled. " But no matter. We have a Chinese kid here."  
" Shizuka ni, enough of that." Yukito scolded. " Each keep to themselves."  
" No worries, we're not politicians." I chuckled. " Where is Sakura?"  
" Outside with Tomoyo and Eriol." Touya answered. " Nakuru took Spinel home. George is in the living room trying to do things without hurting himself."  
" He does that too often." Yukito nodded, bending down to throw stuff into the garbage again. He suddenly started chuckling.  
" What happened?" I asked. " What's so funny?" Yukito doesn't laugh too much these days.  
" Oh, I was just remembering something Jingxi told me." Yukito answered. I suddenly remembered it was Yue who was laughing. That made me more confused.  
" What did he tell you?"  
" Oh, it was when he was about one year old. Yelan was cutting up shrimp just like I am, in the kitchen, and at the other end there was a bowl of instant noodles. The child just learned to walk and when he learned it he was toddling about all over the place. Yelan was cutting up shrimp and throwing the waste into the garbage. Syaoran was watching her. Then, since Syaoran didn't remember but his mother does, Yelan, from her point of view, thought she heard him walking, or toddling, back and forth, and everytime he drew close there was a splat, in the garbage can. She peeked into the garbage and found out it was filled with noodles, and that night's dinner was just gone. Syaoran wanted to copy her. Monkey see, monkey do, only he did it to their dinner. Of course, his sisters whined for some time about it. They teased him endlessly afterwards."  
" Well, that was something one would never expect from Li Jingxi!" Touya laughed. " He actually did something stupid!"  
" He was a baby Touya." Yukito defended.  
" But whenever I picture him as a baby I thought of him as this kid with a big frown on his face-I mean, the first time I met him he was glaring at the kaijuu."  
" Only because he's in Japan. And besides. He's all alone with Wei. With no one he knows, a foreign land, with no friends. How would you feel? He was only ten years old." Yukito was upset.  
" Father Yukito, my sincerest apologies," Touya smirked. " Relax, Yuki! I was merely teasing the boy behind his back."  
" Hmph." Yukito went back to working on the shrimp.   
" By the way, where is the olive oil?" Touya asked.  
" They're all in that cupboard over there."   
  
Touya reached down to take the olive oil. " My, Yukito. With all the food you have, how come Syaoran never gained any weight?"  
" Oh, ano..." Yukito looked uncomfortable. " He doesn't eat much-only soup and chocolate."  
" What, no solids?"  
" Not really. He gets full very easily. Couldn't help him."  
" Oh, gomen nasai..."  
" Hey, Yukito-san, Oni-chan." Sakura shook her head as she rubbed her eyes.  
" Hm? Oh," Touya turned back. " You want to check up on Syaoran?"  
" I did already." Sakura answered. " Right after Kero left. He is so kawaii!" She smiled.  
" You didn't wake him, did you?" Yukito asked.

He was responded by a glare from each of us.  
" I'm not that stupid and heartless, Yue." Sakura replied, a little hurt and frustrated.  
" No, I don't mean that." Yukito suddenly understood what we took it as. " I just hoped that the door didn't wake him. He is a light sleeper these days. Hardly gets any sleep at all."  
" Why? He is so weak." Touya stated.  
" I know." Yukito looked mournful. " But I know he is afraid to...to..." He fell silent.  
" Oh." We all said softly.  
" You won't believe this, Syaoran is actually up!" Tomoyo cried, rushing into the kitchen.  
" Nani?" Sakura cried. She left the kitchen. We followed. 


	14. Chapter 14 Eriol

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 14-Eriol

" That's right."  
" I feel tired." He mumbled.  
" I know." I answered. " Don't worry. You're doing fine. You can actually get up that's a good thing."  
" Hey!" Sakura called brightly. " You're up!"  
" Un." He gave me a queer look. " With the help of my kawaii little ascendent."  
" Hey!" I cried. " That was not funny!"  
  
Too late. The others were laughing.  
" That's what you get for teasing Syaoran too much, Eriol!" Yukito laughed. He laughs so scarcely now. " My little Jingxi is full of surprises."  
" Hai, and his little Jingxi just got out of bed, so stop tossing me around, Eriol." Syaoran smiled.  
" Since when did you grow as tall as me?" I asked. " You use to be so small."  
" _You_ use to be so small too! Ow, I need a little help here. Onegai?"  
" Oh, sure. Hungry?"  
" Starving."  
" Now's the chance for you to let him taste the shrimp." Touya nudged Yukito.  
" Shrimp?" Syaoran blinked. " Oh, alright! But-" Too late, I couldn't catch him. He tripped and fell, sliding down the stairs, stopping in the middle.  
" Oh!" Yukito hurried over. I hurried down. " Daijoubu?"  
" H-hai," Syaoran nodded. " I'm f-fine."

He looked fine, but he was visibly shakened. Yukito and I helped him towards the kitchen.  
" I'll go back to the pork." Touya offered.  
" It was pork?" Tomoyo asked.  
" I thought it was chicken." Sakura blinked.  
" It was pork." Touya growled. He stomped back.  
" Looks like you rubbed something off him, Sakura-chan." Tomoyo joked. Sakura slapped her on the arm playfully.

" Water." Syaoran blinked. He suddenly looked a little dazed.  
I poured a glass for him. He drank it thirstily and then sat back.   
" Feeling alright?" I asked. A shock for him is as deadly as a heart attack.  
" Hai." He nodded, ever so slowly. We waited as Yukito and Touya cooked. I could have helped, if Sakura, Tomoyo and I weren't chatting with Syaoran. He relaxed after a while.

  
  
" All of that?"  
" I dare you."  
" I can't. My stomach will burst."  
" No it won't."

Syaoran grimaced at the huge bowl of rice. It was actually not that big. Even Tomoyo would have been able to finish it.  
" Come along now. Dig in." Touya smiled. Sakura sat next to Syaoran and tossed onto his bowl of rice random vegatables and meats.   
" We cooked Chinese style just for you."  
" Oh please." Syaoran smiled. " I love ribs." He bit in slowly.  
" Oh, we could tell." I shoved him dully. " You are the slowest eater in the world."  
" I am very discouraged."  
I snorted. " By the rice?"  
" Hai."  
" Come on, Syaoran." Kero smiled. " Don't go doing that."  
" Hai, eat up." Touya laughed.  
" Of course, _oni-chan_."  
" Hey, by the way, did he ever mention he likes that?" I asked Syaoran.  
" Nani? He does? Alright. I'll stop."  
" Did you _have _to say that?" Touya threatened to wack me with the chopsticks.  
" Next thing you know," Sakura had a queer glint in her eye, " We're going to have Syaoran renamed ' Kaijuu'."  
" _No way_ am I going to let him do that. You know how I am with chopsticks." Syaoran grumbled.

We all laughed.

" Hai, you and Xuyan perfected the art of catching flies and mosquitoes with chopsticks. You guys really know how to turn anything into a weapon." Sakura laughed.  
" Hwa." Syaoran responded. We laughed.

  
  
" Not Slam." Syaoran protested as I dealed the cards. " I can't move fast enough."  
" Alright. Go fish is boring. Biez is also. How about Chinese Poker?"  
" Alright." Syaoran nodded. We all took our cards. I grinned at my deck. A royal flush of spades and the two of spades. Perfect. There was another six, a three of hearts, and a joker.

This one's a killer.

" Who has the three of diamonds?" Sakura asked. A common question at this game.  
" I do." Syaoran called. " Two threes."  
" Two fives." Sakura put them down.  
" Two eights." Touya thrusted them out.  
" Two jacks." Tomoyo put them down.  
" Two kings." Nakuru smirked.  
" Pass." I said. I didn't want to give up my two of spades.  
" Two king of spades and hearts." Syaoran smirked back.  
" Pass." We all said dully, so dully it was almost funny.  
" One four." Syaoran handed out.  
" One five."  
" One seven." Touya tossed it out.  
" One nine."  
" One jack."  
" Joker."  
" Shoot. Pass."  
I smirked. " One three."  
" You've got to be kidding me." Syaoran looked at me. " One eight."  
" One queen."  
" One ace."  
" Pass."  
" Everyone passes?"  
" Wait!" I was annoyed. " _I _am not passing! Two of spades!"  
" Darn, the real one."  
" Royal flush."  
" Oh no."  
" Six."  
" Eriol wins the first round." Touya laughed. " Go Syaoran."  
" Two tens."  
" Two Queens."  
" Pass."  
" One four. By the way, Syaoran, did you go to the dead world these days?"  
" Iie. I didn't dream either. I don't dream."  
" You take characteristics of guardians very well, Syaoran. Go Tomoyo." Nakuru beckoned.  
" Ano...one seven."  
" One nine."  
" Ace. I win this round."  
" Hmph. If he doesn't win first, he wins second whenever it comes to Chinese Poker."  
" I'm not that bad am I?"  
" You ought to give someone else a chance!" Touya laughed, as he was the one who spoke.  
" What do you mean I take the characteristics of guardians, Nakuru?"  
" Guardians don't dream, little one." Nakuru smiled. " It's the master's job."

Sakura and I glared at her.  
" Oh, domo arigatou!" I groaned. " You put all the work on us."  
" You're very welcome." Nakuru laughed. " But it's true, actually. Until you gave that power to Fujitaka."  
" Hai." Syaoran pulled his legs up onto the couch beside Sakura. " It's your own fault Eriol."  
" Shizuka ni."  
They all laughed. I laughed as well.

" So Yukito doesn't dream."  
" Iie." Nakuru nudged the boy, who was only watching.  
" Now that you mention it," Syaoran added thoughtfully, " I hardly dream. I dreamed once? Twice? The rest of the time I was in the Dead Realm."  
" Two jacks!"  
" Pass."  
" Gomen." Syaoran laid his head on Sakura's shoulder. " If I keep it up by myself it would fall off."  
" That's alright. Don't worry about it." Sakura moved so she could balance Syaoran's head better. " Are you feeling alright?"  
" A little nauseous. Nothing much."  
" Do you want to go to bed?"  
" Haven't I stayed in that thing for enough already?"  
" Good point, you lazybone." Nakuru put down the cards. " You sleep too much."  
" Which explains the headaches and the migraines."  
" Hai." I agreed. " But seriously Syao-chan, do you feel alright?"  
" Don't call me Syao-chan. And hai, I should be fine."  
" What's wrong with Syao-chan?" Sakura asked.  
" Syao just sounds so...small."

We probably all had a vision of the little Syaoran as a toddler, running around dumping noodles into the garbage can. Since Touya couldn't keep his mouth shut...

" Alright Lan-chan, whatever you want."  
" You just _have_ to make nicknames, don't you, Eriol-san? Isn't it enough that I'm a wolf already?"  
" No worries. Soon we'll all be calling you Tenko and Yue Tenshi."  
" Oh come on." Yukito was a little annoyed. " Why must everyone point that out?"  
" It's the most dramatic thing about you." Nakuru sighed. " I win."  
  
Sakura leaned back and stroked Syaoran's hair as Nakuru gathered the cards to shuffle them. Or rather, she leaned back and attempted to straightened it-which she wasn't very successful at.

" Play Biez."  
" Hai, that way Syaoran won't be able to win so easily."  
" Don't count on it." Syaoran mumbled from Sakura's shoulder.  
" Come on now Syaoran, sit up and be a big boy." Sakura giggled. Syaoran sat up and blinked his huge eyes.  
" There's your deck."  
" Arigatou."  
" Who has the ace of spades?" I asked.  
" I do."   
" That's the second time!"  
" Hey, it's not my fault that the first card is always in my deck." Syaoran protested. " Ace."  
" One two."  
" One three."  
" Four fours."  
" One five."  
" Is anyone going to biez already? One six."  
" Two sevens."  
" One eight."  
" Three nines."  
" One ten."  
" One jack."  
" Two queens."  
" One king."  
" Two aces."  
" Biez."

It went on for a long time, the game. No one showed any signs of winning. We talked. It felt so good to talk normally, after worrying so much about death. We just talked about everyday stuff, things about Touya and Nakuru in the college, how it was with Xuyan. Just normal stuff any teenager and adolescent would do.

I wonder when this would become a daily event. Because all the other people they have no idea what gifts life gave them. To live a battle, a war, is just as painful as heartbreak. Watching Sakura and Syaoran, leaning against each other, I wondered how each of them could find the courage to give their hearts to one another, knowing that there were odds that they could part. But I looked at Syaoran and Sakura, their eyes, bright and beautiful, each with their own inner light. Love is a force not to be controlled. It only depends on if you admit it to yourself. I guess Syaoran must have really felt comforted, knowing that he is loved in life and in death he would be remembered for years to come. Our little Tenko, with eyes of amber gold, the one that made us appreciate life for what it is. Life is a beautiful thing. Pain is a beautiful thing. And only in life can you find true happiness because of that pain. Because you cannot love while you are dead.

And just watching those two, living for the moment, loving for the moment, made me feel so warm, as if their love spreaded to all of us. We chatted all through the night, in the same feeling of love and family. We are family. One big family. All ready to give our support. 


	15. Chapter 15 Sakura

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 15-Sakura

He was strong. He is strong and he always will be. Struggling and still never reaching his limit. Dimly I remember the old play of Shakespeare " King Lear". Who was the guy that had his eyes gouged out? Gloucestor? Hai, that was his name. He had suffered so much pain, and so did King Lear. But Syaoran was more like King Lear than Gloucestor. For Gloucestor had given up, reaching his limit, and King Lear had died never reaching his.

My Jingxi is not going to give up. I'm not letting him. And I'm the Card Mistress. There's got to be something those cards are good for.

I was so not letting him go. He's going to fight this all the way into the end. For himself. For all of us.

One would expect that I would be worried, and afraid, perhaps. Perhaps I would be if I was ten years old. Perhaps I would be sniffling every night, praying that I would be able to see Syaoran the next day. But I am twelve years old, and have been for four months. I did not plan to weaken myself with tears. Because Syaoran's not crying. Yue's not crying. No one is crying. 

Because hope is important. Faith is important. To lose it would mean to abandon him. And after we had left him once, all of us, including me, although I left him differently, Syaoran had been torn. We had won him back. We're not losing him again.

So I wasn't despairing over his theoretical death. I wasn't making any plans either. Living for the moment, as Eriol described. It was the only thing I could do and I did it willingly. Right now what is important is not what will happen in the future. Syaoran needs all our strength, support, and love, and I was not going to hinder him from getting every part from me from some despair. I created the Hope Card. I am Hope. I will help him every step of the way.

  
  
We went over to Tomoyo-chan's mansion one time while it was raining. Our group, the little conspiracy we've made, hardly ever left Syaoran and Yukito alone. We stuck together like a true family.

Syaoran seemed a little better that day.  
" I slept until you came." He replied as a reason.  
" Really? You slept that long? Gee, I thought they hibernate in winter." Tomoyo chan laughed. Syaoran swatted at her.  
" Sorry, Eriol-san. I knew you had wanted to go to Canada. I got you stuck here."  
" It's alright." Eriol smiled at Syaoran. " Anyway I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it."  
" Canada? You wanted to go to Canada?" Tomoyo asked. " But don't they speak French?"  
" Half half." Eriol waved his hand. " At least that's how they had told me."  
" Really?" I asked. " I didn't listen too much about Canada. I heard about the US."  
" Of course. With the companies exporting their goods, no doubt. Sooner or later that country will fall to depression. It happens all the time."  
" By the way guys," Syaoran suddenly spoke up, " Xuyan sent us mail today. Oh, Yukito-san, what was it he sent us?"  
" A card." Yukito took out the envelope. " A strange card. The magic does not feel right."  
" Count on Xuyan. He's the ruler of the dead."  
" Or rather, he controls the magic forces." Eriol corrected. " Come along. Show us the card."

Yukito held it out and passed it to me. He was right. The card was different from anything I was use to. It had the same shape as my cards and was of the same size. There was the same border, but this time there was more than one object in the picture.

A two eyes opened in the middle of the picture. Their shape was the type that the Chinese might of called " Phoenix Eyes", because they were the shape of the Chinese Phoenix head. The eyes had a large doelike texture with a huge pupil, and a bright glint to it. There was a hand below the eyes-it was impossible to tell which hand it was because it was black and dark. Above the eye, three staffs, small and thin, each with a stone on the top, one red, one green, and one blue. They crossed each other. Light emitted out of the staff, casting the shadows across the eyes and hand. The background was pure black, the hand blacker, outlined in silver. Below were the words " The Eye that Sees".

" Any idea what that is, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked.  
" The Eye that Sees." I read out loud to everyone. " Strange. This isn't a normal card, that's for sure. Do the Dead Realm have cards of their own?"  
" Not that I know of." Syaoran replied, for my question was directed at him. " If they do, they had no reason to use it. No one would be so stupid as to disturb them. And then again, there never were a lot of people who were able."  
" Alright...but here did Xuyan get this card?"  
" How come Yukito didn't show me." Syaoran grumbled next to me. " What did he say?"  
" He said that...the elders of the clan...gave him instructions to make a card-since you weren't there they couldn't teach you-but somehow the card didn't turn out as it's supposed to...and Xuyan thought it might be helpful in some way."  
" Smart child." Nakuru murmured.  
" We'll see about that later." Syaoran yawned. " I'm so tired..."  
" Come, I'll take you up. You can take a nap for a while." I said to him.  
" I'm not _sleepy_, I'm _tired._" Syaoran glared. I giggled.  
" Just go up." I dragged him to his feet. " You're tired because everyone's here and chatting about that card Xuyan gave you. Get up here. Which room is available, Tomoyo-chan?"   
" Give him the room to the right of the staircase."  
" I've never been there!" I protested to Tomoyo. " How come you never gave me that room?"  
" It's just been set up." Tomoyo answered. " But it's actually the best of the guest rooms."

I must have made quite an impression, dragging a weaker boy up the stairs. I didn't care really. He is just too stubborn for his own good.

" Ugh, the bed never looked so nice. But haven't I been in bed long enough?"  
" Enough, Mr. Kung fu." I giggled. " You get into bed like a good boy."  
" Sure, Mistress." He saluted. I swatted his arm and we laughed.

He lied on top of the covers and just stared up at the ceiling. I was about to leave when he suddenly called.  
" Sakura?"  
" Hai?"  
" Can you stay for a while?"   
" Ano...sure." I pulled up a chair and sat at the bedside.  
" Strange." He observed. " The bed is a lot softer. Maybe because the blanket is."  
" Oh?" I blinked. " How soft can it be?"  
" Try it." He scooted over to the side. I blinked, confused, then I sat down on the bed.  
" Gosh, it's softer than I remember Tomoyo-chan's beds being." I lied down beside him.  
" Whoa,"  
" Comfy?"  
" Hai. You can easily fall asleep once you get under the covers, I'll bet."  
" I'm not willing to sleep just yet."  
" Me neither."

We lied like that for a while, staring up at the ceiling.

" Sakura?"  
" Hai?"  
" Do you think I'll ever make it through?"  
" Through what?"  
" Everything."

I hesitated. " Syaoran, I have faith in you. If you don't make it, it wouldn't be a fault of yours."  
" I'm scared Sakura." He said after a while.  
" Why?"  
" I don't know how dying really...feels like. I'm scared of the pain. And Otou san...what would he do if I left him Sakura? He's been killing himself trying to keep me alive. If I die I would...betray him. And all of you had devoted so much of your time for me..."  
" Hush. Aishiteru. We all do. As long as you try your best, we don't care what the outcome is." I fought back the tears. " Have courage, Syaoran-kun. We'll be there for you."

Syaoran smiled, a sad smile, but he was tired. He was scared. I reached over and held his hand.

_ Do you have any idea how hard it is to love someone like you?_ I thought to myself. _Because it is no longer the question of whether you love me or not. It has been the question of whether you would live long enough to love me._

" Syaoran?"  
" Hai?"  
" Do you want me to leave you now?"  
" This bed is so soft. I think I'd really take a nap."  
" Then I'll leave you alone." I rolled around and gave him a kiss on the cheek. " Sleep well Syaoran. You need the strength."  
He just turned over and soon his body relaxed. I smiled and softly closed the door.

  
  
" Is he alright?"

It was the first question Yukito asked me.  
" Of course. Why?"  
" You were in there for so long." Eriol replied.  
" Oh. We just rested and talked."  
" Oh." Yukito relaxed.

I suddenly realized what Syaoran had done to all of us. We would never be able to enjoy life as we had, so carefree and liberated. I realized what I told him was wrong. His death could destroy us.

Especially Yue.

  
  
How long has it been that we had struggled to keep him alive by now? A year. It has been a year. But it felt so much longer. Half a century, maybe. Perhaps more. For Syaoran it probably was longer, each of those twelve years, fighting and drinking the bitter broth. What about the year he came? Did he feel tired, weak, and alone?

  
  
August twentieth. The air was alive with the sounds of cicadas calling to each other. It was a rather bright morning, slightly cloudy but with some sun. The air was hot but not humid. It was a beautiful day.

I was rollarblading. No reason. There are just times when you have to go out and do something. We've been cooped up because of Syaoran, trying to keep him company because even with soccer he couldn't last doing outdoor exercises for more than ten minutes. Now he just told us to do what we will, and since we had nothing else to do...

By now the trees had no more fruit. Of course-mostly because people ate them. But the cherry blossom trees stopped producing cherries. They had either been picked or had rotted down on the soil. I sighed and pushed with my legs to get myself moving. Birds hopped out of the way as I rolled past. Sighing again, I turned at the corner.

The park was filled with people today. I glided downhill and on level ground. Children swung from swings, there was laughter everywhere. It seems so long ago since I had laughed like that, because although I did laugh these days they were not as free. They were burdened with the knowledge of the dark.

I glided down further. I decided I really wanted Syaoran to survive this too. Perhaps when he does we can enjoy the swings... 


	16. Chapter 16 Touya

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 16-Touya

I was eating my third bowl of ice cream. It was awfully hot that day-I couldn't imagine how my sister could bring herself to go out there in this temperature. I was at Yukito's, yet again, this time with no one else there, except of course, Yue ( slash, Yukito), and Syaoran. ( We've never gotten use to his real name.)

Syaoran was utterly exhausted that day, but he refused to stay in bed despite Yue's pleadings. He was leaning against me with his own bowl of ice cream-his first, chocolate of course, which was melting since he couldn't eat it fast enough.

Syaoran finally finished his ice cream and set it on the table. We were watching TV together. Yukito was restless so he wasn't with us. I felt Syaoran's head slide into my lap and found that he had fallen asleep.

_ Poor guy._ I thought to myself. _All tired and weak._ I gently lifted him up and carried him upstairs to his room.

_ Hm._ I thought. _It's been a long time since he last had a concert. _I grimaced at all the dust on his cello case. Tucking the child in I closed the door behind me.

  
  
" So there was this time when Syaoran was at the competition and a string popped. It went from a D all the way to a B flat. The judges were just staring at the poor kid, and Syaoran said he had never felt more nervous in his entire life."  
" He was seven years old, wasn't he?"  
" Hai." Yukito smiled. " So the judges at first just stared at him. Syaoran couldn't really continue with that thing, so they told him that he could come back again when he fixed that string of his. Syaoran went to a nearby shop to do it. He was so frightened. Ended up in the High Honors and had a concert."  
" Was Xuyan there?"  
" Iie. That time Xuyan was sick, so Syaoran was all alone. I wonder if that boy knew it after...Syaoran never mentioned it."  
" I thought when strings on a cello or violin pop they pop...literally."  
" Iie, they just lose their hold and then lower their pitch. Did you hear that Eriol had to restring that piano of his, by the way, because Spinel spilled water all over them and they began to rust."  
" Elgh. Cats."  
" Eriol-san was _so_ mad. That time when he went back to England he was so glad because he finally could play a decent instrument. Now that he's here he tried to fix that thing, then gave up and sold it to a piano factory. He bought another Steinway, and he was so happy because it didn't have any problems with it. I wonder if the sound board rusted too. If it did he's going to have to oxidate it or something."  
" Hai a good sound board is hard to find."  
" Hai! Pianos are so much trouble. So are cellos. In fact, perhaps the only thing that you don't really have to worry about is the triangle."  
" The cello? What's wrong with that?"  
" Syaoran once was practicing when Meiling accidentally knocked a dent into it. He was so angry and annoyed. Luckily it was the half sized one."  
" She knocked a dent? I didn't know she was so clumsy."  
" She wasn't. She thought wood is so tough and all so she just kicked it when Syaoran's not looking."  
" I knew she was naughty." I laughed. " How old were they?"  
" How old do you think? Meiling joined Syaoran when they were six. That happened when they were seven, about five years ago."  
" Well, what can you expect from a seven year old. But I thought girls are supposed to be quiet."  
  
At this Yukito snorted and nearly choked on his food. " Never generalize, Touya." He began. " It's not healthy. There are always exceptions. Look at Sakura, for example."  
" Sakura's not wild."  
" Iie, she isn't, but she isn't quiet either. She has the potential to be loud if she wants to. Remember that time when she was at the festival? _Syaoran-kun!!_ _I'm so glad you're here!!!_"  
  
I wacked that guy with a sponge. " Don't make fun of my imotou."  
" Not making fun of her." Yukito laughed. " She's my mistress, after all; it wouldn't be proper. Tomoyo-chan is probably a good example of someone who's quiet. She has a classic personality. She doesn't exercise too much, maybe that's why she's not as strong as Sakura. She wouldn't be able to handle a lot of stress. Poor thing!"  
" Hai, and Nakuru is an eighteen year old version of Meiling."

We both had a vision of Nakuru, jumping up. _Touya!!!_  
" Brrr." I shivered. " Gives me the creeps."  
" She doesn't do that anymore." Yukito said, puzzled. " I wonder why. Ever since last year when we went to Hong Kong she doesn't do that anymore. She became so quiet. Except at Oxford-something to do with the English air there."  
" Maybe she's just excited to be among people her own age. We have a bunch of twelve year olds among us. We can't exactly talk to them. Anyone know about Salmonella?"  
" Domo arigatou. I thought you don't know about salmonella or ecoli."  
" Learned those in sixth grade, baka. You don't have to be a doctor to know some basic bacteria."  
" Still. It's true. Try teaching them economics. Sakura will be like ' hoe?'"  
  
I laughed. Yukito seemed to be in a better mood today.  
" ' Prices are determined by the relationship between Supply and Demand'" I acted like my social studies teacher, " ' to which if the Supply is higher than the demand the prices lower and if vice versa the prices go higher and if both are equal the prices stay the-'" Yukito threatened to wack me with his spatula. " Ah! Please don't hurt me!"  
" Damare!" Yukito laughed. " You sound like I'm abusing you."  
" I'm being abused by a half insane million year old guardian who is one hundred percent stressed and is two percent fossilized-"  
" I'm not a million years old, for your information, I am not insane, half or no, and I am not stressed."  
" You got that last part wrong. I think the second part is wrong also."  
" I am not abusing you, for your next information."  
" Two percent fossilized?"  
" I don't think so."  
" Aw, I wish you were. One hundred percent. That way I'll be rich."  
" Hey! That was _not_ funny!"  
" Well, I could use the money," I began to try to run away from Yukito, who was holding his spatula high in the air, " Perhaps buy Sakura a new pair of blades, maybe save some money for college, start a business of some kind...or, or," I ducked behind a counter and skooted off, " Buy a mansion the size of Tomoyo's, or, or maybe buy one of those cars, those German cars, an SUV, perhaps, or maybe just keep you so I can show everyone I found a fossil!"

Yukito laughed, I chuckled, and he went back to cooking.

" I've learned something these days." He said while flipping the food with his spatula ( the same one he threatened to hit me with), " Syaoran _loves_ tofu. Not regular tofu, one of those old tofus that act like sponges. And tofu with pork in the middle. He loves them. Oh, and also those stinky tofus that smell like ancient history. He also loves wintermelon soup with meatballs. He dives into them like Kero, even in his state." Here Yukito's voice cracked a little. " Chocolate too."  
" Do you still give him the herbal medicine?" I asked quietly.  
" Iie. He no longer needs them, or rather, they are of no use to him anymore. An attack comes when it comes. Sometimes he stays in bed for two days in a row. I'm staying with him for as long as I can."  
  
He scooped up the tofu and set it on a plate, then arranged them outside a small pile of vegatables in the middle. Cooking Chinese style. Then he brought the dish over to the dining table.  
" Where is he?" Yukito asked.  
" Upstairs, sleeping. Should I wake him?"  
" He'll come down. Let us wait." Yukito sat down, tired. " He loves it when he sleeps and I lie down next to him, you know what I mean? They always said Chinese parents sleep with their kids when they're young. Syaoran never said so, but I know he likes it. He sleeps better that way, wakes up more rested and attacks come less often. He likes to snuggle up to me, you know To-ya? Wrap my arms around himself. Sometimes he just listens to my heart. One time we were taking an afternoon nap together. I was singing a song in my head, one of those calm songs that he had played on his cello, and then he started humming the exact same notes in his sleep!"  
" Wow..." Was all I could say.  
" There was one time at night, somewhere around midnight, when I was lying next to him, him in my arms, when Syaoran suddenly asked me to tell him a story. Tell a twelve year old a story! But he said he was tense for some reason, and telling him a story would relax him. It seems like Syaoran is trying to capture his childhood again. It's not too late really, and so I told him a story. It's all nonsense really, a child who met a deer in the woods and befriended it. When Syaoran was falling asleep he suddenly told me that I told him that same story a long time ago, when he was six. I wasn't there when he was six." Yukito was crying. " It was the story he had made his shadow father make up. _It was the exact same story Touya!_"

I've never seen Yukito so moved. Being his best friend he poured everything out to me.

There was a sound of the door opening and a very tired boy came out.

" Hey Syaoran-kun." I called. " Want some tofu?"  
" Tofu?" Syaoran suddenly tripped. He fell down some part of the stairs and a groan was heard.  
" Syaoran?" Yukito shot up from his seat. We ran over.

Syaoran looked dazed. Yukito ran up to him. I waited at the bottom.  
" Is he alright?"  
" He looks alright. Dazed, but alright. Do you think you can walk?"  
  
Syaoran got up shakily. He followed his father downstairs.  
" He got up too quickly." Yukito told me. We helped him to his lunch.

  
  
A young child, manchild. A young manchild doomed to die. But is he really doomed? We don't know, because this is no longer the past that we are talking about. We don't know what happens next because we've never been through it. This is the present, and there is no way we could tell the future, because fate has not planned anything. The caves no longer help us. Wizards prove of little assistance. We are on our own. Syaoran is on his own. No matter how much love we give him, how much support, he will always be fighting on his own. The goal is no longer to heal. The goal is now to live long enough for all of us to enjoy the last moments together, to share our memories, our sorrows, our happiness. The goal is now to love, to live our lives as families will, to understand one another. To settle all scores. To leave each other without regret. That is the goal. It is the only goal that we are able to reach. All others are not known.

Does the child know too? Perhaps he does. Why else did he take Sakura out one night, all alone to themselves, and did not return until the next break of dawn? Why else would he spend all his time with her, with Yue, with Kero, of all people? Why else would he go to movies with us, to banquets, to festivals, sharing cakes, watching television, talk on the phone, sometimes just going out for a short walk, even though everytime he comes back weak and tired?

Living for the moment, as Eriol said, as Sakura said, as everyone said. Living for the moment, just to enjoy the life as it is. Because right now this is life, balanced on a single thread. You don't know when you'll die, perhaps a second later, a minute later. Everyday is the last day one will spend together, because you don't know if there is a tomorrow. You don't even know if there is a tonight. Because Syaoran could break down any minute, just like that, a snap and he's gone. And this time the dead are powerless to help him. Powerless to stop him. Because the dead are controlled by their own element. Just as we are controlled by ours.

And so the child is living halfway between Life and Death. Living halfway between Survival and Defeat. Fate made no plans for him in this world and made no plans for him now. We only knew one thing for sure. If all comes to an end, we will still be like this, a big family of nonrelatives. A big family, carrying on the legacy of Clow Reed, the legacy of magic, the legacy of the half mortal doomed to die. The legacy of the manchild that might die too young. The legacy of love that will never die as we someday will. 


	17. Chapter 17 Syaoran

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 17-Syaoran

" I can't read this!" I squinted. Yukito looked at me worriedly.  
" Syaoran, even I can read those words."  
" Give me those!" I snatched Yukito's glasses and put them on. " That's better. Leh, what is this, a witch potion?"

Yukito snatched the glasses back. " I don't want you to have glasses Syaoran. Glasses are a whole lot of trouble. Here, let me help you with your eyes. You've been too strained lately."

Meanwhile, Mimi was sitting beside me looking very much unhappy.  
" We are witches." She said quietly. I scowled.   
" Do witches read microscopic letters?" I asked, snatching the glasses back.  
" Syaoran, even I can read those words, without my glasses." Yukito sounded worried now. " What's wrong with your eyes?"

I didn't answer, instead I droppedsome herbs into the pot. " Wizards make potions?" I mumbled.  
" Not really well, apparently." George laughed. " We usually cast direct spells. Witches are the healers and the poisoners."  
" Syaoran, take those off." Yukito took the glasses off my nose.  
" Hey!"  
" I don't want you to have eyes like mine, besides, these glasses are _really_ strong." Yukito put them on. " I'll try to make your eyes feel better. You've been sleeping too much."  
" I did _not_ sleep that much-" But Yukito's fingers were at my temples already and was rubbing them in circles, making me feel lightheaded.  
" Don't-like-massage."  
" No one like you does." Yukito grumbled. " I don't want another four eyes in my home. Your eyes look much better without being magnified-they're so big already."  
" Ow! They are?"  
" Hai." Yukito started to brush his fingers roughly against my brow.  
" Ow! You're going to peel those off!"  
" You might need to. Your brows are too thick already. Imagine when you reach puberty."  
" Otou-san!!"  
" He's right, you know." George chuckled.

By now Yukito had his thumbs under my eyes and was rubbing them so I thought the bones would break.  
" Do you have to do it that hard?"  
" Iie. This is the hardest part." Yukito intentionally made it a pun.

He went to the tendons between my brows.  
" Ow!"  
" Gee, Yukito-san!" Mimi laughed. " Torturing your own son, eh?"  
" Torture? I do the best torture. This isn't torture yet." Yukito finished and I couldn't open my eyes anymore.  
" Did you do something to my tendons?"  
" Hai. I made them relax. Now just let your eyes remain closed for a while. And then you'll be all better."

Curiously, it worked.

" Wow! Those words aren't so blurry anymore!"  
" Hai."  
" But they're still too small! I'm getting a headache!"

This time Yukito went to my neck and shoulders, and I instantly regretted that comment.

  
  
" I'm feeling better today." I mumbled. " The cello is so dusty!"  
" Are you sure?" Yukito asked. " Don't hurt your fingers."

I shot him a scowl. " Yukito!"  
" Alright, alright, alright." Yukito backed off. " I just played it once. The strings are hard to press."

I grumbled and sat down, adjusting the endpoint. It was when I started when I realized the strings _are_ hard to press.

" I can't do it." I mumbled quietly. " Why can't I press down?"

Yukito said nothing. He just circled his arms around me and rested his head against my shoulder.

  
  
" My arms are tired and sore, my fingers are sore, my chest is sore, my legs are sore. I can't do anything!" I fell upon the bed. " Some wretched disease this is! If it could be something like a heart attack or a stroke, and I just die right there it would have been perfectly fine!"  
" It wouldn't be perfectly fine." Father muttered by he didn't break into my thoughts.  
" And now I can't weild a sword, I can't read, I can't play the ce-" I gasped as suddenly everything went dark.

" Syaoran?" Father's voice rang out. " Syaoran, what's wrong?"  
" O-o-otou-san..." I started to tremble. " Did everything just go black?"

I felt a rush of wind and a cold hand on mine. I screamed.  
" Syaoran! Calm down! Tell me exactly what happened." Father's voice was really loud.  
" I was just talking, and then...then everything is black."  
" Can you see me?"  
" No." I switched to Cantonese, and I felt for him. His arms went around me and I grabbed onto his neck. " I can't see anything!!"  
" Shh." I heard his voice say soothingly. " We'll figure out about this. Just relax. Close your eyes..."

  
  
" Syaoran..."

I felt bitter. I didn't even look at the direction of the voice. Everything was dark. Wait, not dark. Just...

Nothing!

" His eyes are white." I heard Tomoyo whisper. My hearing senses became more acute and I scowled. Suddenly I tripped over something. Someone caught me.

" Careful." I heard Father say. The hands pulled my arms up and I felt my hands touch hair. Something wrapped around my waist and suddenly I was lifted.

" Oof, too light." I heard Touya laugh. It was a sad laugh though.

I did not feel like being carried but I was too scared to let go.  
" Don't worry, Touya won't drop you." I heard Yukito's voice from far away and decided Father must have transformed. 

I didn't say anything. Ever since the day when my vision was gone I didn't feel like talking and the others didn't force me either. I didn't like to be babied but I figured I had no choice.

All of the sudden I was on a sofa.

Something was pressed against my lips. I sniffed. A cookie. I don't want a cookie! Why give me a cookie? Shaking my head I pushed it away, and tried to dodge the cookie. Someone sighed. How come I don't know who it was?  
" He's bleeding at the mouth." I heard Eriol say. " Funny, we haven't seen that in a long time." Someone wiped at my mouth and I hissed, but they went on wiping.

" He got upset." I heard Yukito say.

_Of course I was upset. I'm blind._ I wanted to say, but that would only mean that I really am blind and I didn't want to admit that.

What's the use?

  
  
_ Syaoran..._

_Leave me alone._ I thought. _I don't want to hear it._

Syaoran, listen to us. We want to help you.

How? I asked. _How will you help me? I lost my sight. I thought the world was beautiful. What beauty is there in darkness?_

_Many ways the world is lovely without color, Syaoran._ Said the spirits of the dead. _Take the bow. Pluck the strings._

Stumbling, I picked up the cello without seeing it. I picked up the bow and tightened it. I found the strings.

_Play._

  
And before I knew it, I was playing. I heard distant footsteps. I heard a gasp. But I went on playing. The music sounded more beautiful somehow.

Within the music I heard distant laughter. It sounded familiar. Who was laughing? And to my surprise I found the voice was mine. The laughter came from long ago, so long I barely remember it. 

There was a time when I was innocent. There was a time when I knew no darkness. There was a time I laughed like that. Even now, after Father found me, after I found my father, I had never laughed like that.

Now I never will. Because all around me is darkness.

" Syaoran?"

I stop. I search my mind.  
" Sakura?"

A hand was laid on my shoulder. Suddenly, I didn't want that hand. I didn't want her here. I didn't want to listen to her voice. So I shrugged it off.

A hushed silence. But I didn't care. The disease has cost me enough.

And then suddenly there was a new card. That card was in my hand when I stood up, knocking my cello over. I felt it in my hand, and froze at the words.

_ The Voice that Speaks._

What could it mean? Why did it come out? I didn't try to make it.

" Syaoran-kun?"

That voice again. It's that Kinomoto girl.

" What do you want." I asked.

There was a hurt silence, but she pressed on.  
" Yue-san thought that you might want to go to..."  
" The concert?" I snapped.

She fell quiet again.

I laughed bitterly. Such foolishness.  
" Iie." I said to her. " Go if you must. I'm staying here."  
" Syaoran-kun, why are you acting this way? Just because you lost your sight, doesn't mean that you lost everything!"

I turned towards the sound of her voice and handed over the card.  
" Guess what's next to go." I said to her. I felt her hand accept the card and waited.

" Oh don't bother." I said when she was about to speak. " Don't bother telling me that it doesn't mean anything. I know very well what it means. This is a disease, you baka. It's not just any kind of disease. It's a disease of a half mortal. And guess what? I'm going towards the climax. I'm pretty sure my sense of hearing would go away some time, and then my sense of touch, maybe, my sense of smell, sense of taste, ability to move around, and, and-" I felt my voice cracking. Why was it cracking?

I felt hot tears. Tears. Why was I crying? I didn't want to cry. But suddenly I fell to my knees and started sobbing.

_ Why?_ I cried to whoever might hear me. _What did I do to deserve this? Wasn't it enough that I was a failure? You have to make me suffer. You had to make me suffer. Twelve years! I have been through this for twelve years!! Why didn't you just let me heal already so I can live a life like Sakura?_

And now I can't love. My heart is so empty...

But no one listened. No one heard. 


	18. Chapter 18 Kero

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 18-Kero

We rushed towards the commotion and found Syaoran sobbing on his knees, with Sakura trying desperately to soothe him.  
" I think Xuyan sent him another card." Sakura said softly. " Through magic." She handed the card to Yukito.

We read it in silence.

" Syaoran." Yue bent down and gathered his son into his arms. Syaoran just buried his head into his shoulder.   
" Syaoran, we'll end it all, alright? Whenever you want. Just hang on for a little longer, onegai. Maybe this was just a phase. You have so many odds going with you. Just try to live through this, for yourself, for all of us. Live for the hope of having a future. And when you're certain you don't, well...we can end it all."

I stared at Yue. I knew it was difficult for him to say it. But I know that he was a responsible father and knew what he was doing. Syaoran had suffered enough and if he was doomed to suffer for the rest of his life then death would be a better choice. We just don't know that yet.

Please don't let it end like this...

  
  
School began after February in a frenzy of snow. There was snow everywhere, a blazing land of whiteness. Sakura put on her new rollarblades since her old ones got too small, and her new kneepads and elbowpads since the old ones don't stick anymore, and new wristguards because her hands got bigger.

She doesn't get up late anymore; Sakura has gotten more responsible through the years. In two months she would be thirteen.

Tomoyo usually went with Sakura like the old times before Syaoran ever came to Tomoeda. The only difference was they weren't as carefree as they used to. Something about everything that has happened made them lose the appetite to go shopping or buying ice cream or pizza.

The curious thing was I did not hear about the kid for a long while. Sakura usually comes home late but she never told me where she went. I sometimes guessed that she was with Tomoyo, that she was with Syaoran, that she was with the wizards, but she never told me anything.

So it was a long time before I saw Syaoran again.

  
  
He looked paler than ever, if that was possible, and he bled at the mouth more often, pink, gooey blood. His eyes were blazing white and uncomfortable to look at, and he was thin to the bones. The boy was so weak he could not walk properly and needed his father to support him.

It wasn't Yue's fault and everyone knew it. Syaoran lost his appetite. Yue had a panicked look in his eyes and also a look of pity and guilt whenever he looked at his child. Syaoran stayed close to his father and spoke very little. He was always trembling.

Trembling! The child was always cold and there was no possible way to keep him warm. It was in February and everything was white and blazing.

We got him hurriedly into the house and Touya wrapped him up in blankets on the couch. Yue wrapped his arms around his child and told us in a quiet voice what had happened.

" It was actually Sakura." He began, when Syaoran fell asleep _with his eyes open_. " She made a mistake of leaving. One day in school Sakura was helping him across the hall when she saw a garden. She asked Syaoran if he wanted to go there. Of course Syaoran would do anything for her, so he nodded yes. They went and Sakura left Syaoran all alone because she thought he would sit still on the bench where she left him so she could look at the flowers. It was a new garden they had set up, out on the other side of Tomoeda."  
" What happened?" Touya asked solemnly. Sakura was upstairs. She knew Yue was going to tell us and didn't want to hear it.

Yue was reluctant to blame Sakura for anything. She was his mistress after all. But we asked to know and we had to know. Syaoran was dying before our eyes and we need to see if we could stop it.

" Syaoran got frightened." Yue answered. " He had no idea where he was or where Sakura was. He only knew that Sakura somehow left him and that he was alone. He didn't know if there was anyone who might attack him. So he started to cry. That drew everyone's attention and he panicked even more, and then-"

There was a long pause before Yue continued.  
" He was taken to be interrogated because he drew out his sword. Syaoran ran away. It took me days to find him."

He rubbed his son's head fondly and sadly, and sighed.  
" Afterwards he was afraid to go to school. He was afraid to leave me. He asked me to stay with him everynight and would only go to sleep if he felt my hand. If I hold him. He's afraid to eat because he didn't know what he's eating. He's afraid to speak because he's afraid to draw attention."

At this point Syaoran woke up and yawned. It was a poor yawn, showing his state, so thin and pitiful. It made me feel pain.

The first thing the child did was feel for Yue. Yue took his hand. The boy felt his way up his arm and found Yue's shoulder, and then moved forward. He felt down his chest and leaned his head against his father's heart.  
" Oh, you're awake." I stated the obvious. Syaoran simply lifted his head.  
" Kero?" He blinked, although it didn't really serve any purpose.  
" Elgh." Eriol appeared. " Lunch is ready. Here! Let me help."

We helped Syaoran to his feet and he slowly made his way over to the kitchen table. There he sat, in front of a bowl of soup, and chopsticks.

He couldn't find the chopsticks for a while, and when he did didn't know where to snatch. Yue had to help him and he ate so slowly we were restless. Watching him eat made all of us lose our appetite.

After lunch we sat around as we had done so long ago and just chatted. But the conversations stopped because Syaoran never answered. He fell asleep again and none of us wanted to wake him, so Yue carried him up into the guestroom. When he came down again none of us were in the mood to talk anymore.

So passed the first day we were all together in a long time. But it just wasn't the same.

I guess we sort of took it into our heads that the times of togetherness and hope would simply last forever, and that we would stick with each other as long as Syaoran was still alive. It was a harsh blow, like a splash of ice cold water to flame, when Syaoran lost his sight like that. It was a blow that not even Sakura could soothe.

One time I asked Yue if he wanted to go to the wizards.  
" The wizards?" Yue asked. " I did already."  
" What did they say about this?" I asked.

Yue answered quite simply. " They said it's hopeless."  
" Nani?!"  
" In a way it's very logical." The father answered. " Syaoran lost hope and they lost hope too. I mean, after so long, he still lost his sight like that. He'll never be able to see me again, or see you, or see Sakura, or Touya or Eriol, and will never wave at us if we wave at him."

The scary thing was, he said it so pleasantly it was almost as if he was joking.

  
  
One night Sakura started having dreams.

She dreamed that Syaoran was glowing in bright white light. His eyes were flashing gold, and his skin was crystal clear. His pale, translucent hand stretched out towards her and his mouth moved, though no sound was heard. When she cringed back the hand retreated and his eyes saddened. He turned around and then clear words were heard:  
_" Help me Sakura. Please help me..."_

  
  
Sakura was terrified after that dream and wouldn't leave Syaoran alone, and when Yue got it out of her he wouldn't either. Syaoran remained quiet with his father and Sakura and spoke very little. Often we visited over at Yukito's. We would try to talk to Syaoran.

One morning Syaoran tried to play the cello.

He no longer was surprised at the fact that he had weakened greatly and had very low endurance. He could not press on the strings. He could not bow right. He didn't seem to care though. His notes were random, unfocused. We asked Yue what was going on.

Yue didn't say anything. Instead he skillfully dodged the question.

Later during that same week Yukito received a call from his college schoolmate, and with great sorrow and unwillingness he parted from his son.

From that day onward, Syaoran cried every single night. 


	19. Chapter 19 Xuyan

The Disease that Killed Love Book II

Chapter 19-Xuyan

When I heard about Syaoran I was shocked.

Syaoran was younger than me by five months, which meant I was born in February. Most people don't take that seriously, but ever since the family was lost and Syaoran went to Japan, I had looked at him more as my little brother then as a cousin my age. So it was grievous news to me.

So I hurried to Japan.

Syaoran had changed. Even before, when he was drinking the draught, he had never been as thin as he was when I first saw him. Perhaps it was the light. He use to have this glowing light in his eyes, a light of determination. Now it was gone. His eyes were a pale white. It made my eyes water to see him like that.

He was skin and bones. It wasn't enough that he was as pale as snow but he was literally skin and bones and the worst thing was I couldn't blame Yue for it. He suddenly looked so frail and weak I was almost afraid to touch him.

He must have sensed my aura because he stretched out his hands to me blindly. I responded and embraced him and I realized he was afraid, for he was trembling. It was no wonder-his father had left him too. Yukito had to go back to his school if he wanted to pass his courses. Touya had to also, so they really had no choice. He was staying over at Eriol's and Kaho gave him some comfort, but he tried his best not to depend on her.

" It's okay Syao." I tried to soothe him. " I'm here. You're safe."  
He needed so badly to feel safe that he believed me, and as I lead him back to his room he clung onto me as if I was the last thing he had. 

  
  
I stayed with Syaoran all the time for the next few days because he was too nervous to let me go. I remembered all the foolish arguments we had and felt the irony of it all. I almost didn't recognize Syaoran.

He always felt safer when he felt the warmth of someone near him and the aura wrapped around him. Before it use to be Yue who did this, but since Yue was gone, Syaoran let me do it, and it actually made me feel pleasant because I felt I was doing something for him, instead of aimlessly looking on from afar.

Other times when I couldn't do it Kaho did, so there was always someone with Syaoran. It was a smart thing, that idea. It gave him a way to protect himself. Whenever he needed help someone was always there.

It was very efficient and after a long time Syaoran began coming around. He began smiling and sometimes laughing slightly, although it was always soft and short. One time I heard him singing, but for some reason he cut off in the middle and didn't begin again. Perhaps that singing reminded him of what he could no longer do.

One day he asked me to play the cello.

He said he could no longer play. He no longer had the strength nor will. So I reluctantly took out his cello and some music.

He sat there in front of me, listening to me, as if dumbfounded. As if he had never heard me play before. As if he never heard the cello or all the wonderful pieces by Schumann and Beethoven and Tchaikovsky. 

He didn't know that I was watching him while I was playing. I was looking at his blind eyes staring right through me. The way his hands were folded in his lap, still and lifeless. I remember there was a time when those hands were strong, those eyes were bright, and when they fingered against the string or bow, they were forceful and confident, and those eyes on the music, may well burn the sheets-

  
  
The piece was finished. I realized I was crying. Syaoran could not see me cry.  
" You've improved." He whispered.

I steadied my voice. " How could I not? It's been around a year already."

Syaoran nodded in silence.  
" Do you want to try?"  
" I can't play anymore."  
" Why?"  
" I'm too weak."  
" I'll help."

Syaoran shifted slightly and I took the cello over. I placed the bow in his weak hands. I held them tightly and I placed my fingers over his.  
" What do you want to play?"  
" The Swan."

The Swan. It was a simple piece, but very moving. It was Syaoran's favorite.  
His fingers were so weak. He could not support his head and so he laid it back against my shoulder. I was actually playing for him and he knew it, but it felt like he was the one playing and he relished the feeling.

He did not know I was crying. If he did, he would be crying too.

  
  
" _Achat shoalti, mei'eit Adonai,  
Otoh avakeish...  
Achat sho'alti, mei'eit Adonai,  
Otoh avakeish...  
Shivti b'veit, b'veit Adonai,  
Kol y'mei, y'mei chayat..  
Achat sho'alti mei'eit Adonai,  
Otoh avakeish..."_

" Voices of the dead." Syaoran said. _" They speak to me. I tell them nay."  
" Oh?"_ I cocked an eyebrow, then I grew pale. He was laughing.  
_" Voices of the dead. They plead with me. I turn and ignore. Nay, never shall I listen again to the whisperings of the deceased."_

It was that fateful night, when Syaoran played the cello, that I learned that Syaoran had turned his back on all that he had once leaned upon.  
_" Why do you hate?"_ I asked.  
_" Hate?"_ Syaoran blinked. _" Hate has nothing to do with it. There is a type of despair, Xuyan. It drives away all love for things once held dear. It leaves an empty shell. No love, no hate. Nothing."_

  
  
Winter break was here at last and Yukito was able to come home. He didn't come home alone though.  
" Guess what I brought for you." Yukito took a small furball out. Syaoran immediately reached for it. He felt the fur.  
" Is it a cat?" He asked.  
" Iie." Yukito laughed. " Close enough."  
" A dog?" Syaoran was getting excited.  
" Hai. A husky pup!" Yukito laughed.

My cousin squealed in excitement and took the pup gently in his arms. He petted it fondly in adoration.  
" Can I keep it?"

Touya snorted. " What kind of question was that? Of course you can keep him! He's yours to begin with!"  
" Really?!" Syaoran jumped up, but fell so I had to catch him. " Really otou-san!" His blind eyes looked up to where Yukito was.

Yukito responded by pulling my cousin to his embrace. " So you like him, then. What do you want to call him?"  
" Not something you would name a person." Syaoran stuck out his tongue. " How does he look like? He feels like a furball. Xuyan, do you want to name him?"  
" You can call him Furball if you want."  
" No way! Come on, you can think of a better name, right?"

I laughed, and I studied the husky puppy. It was a lovely puppy, with a black back and a white chest and cold blue eyes.

I thought about how my cousin had laughed in delight at the puppy and had so fondly caressed it.

" Lele." I answered. " Laughter."

  
  
Lele was fast when growing. He eats a lot. Syaoran sometimes accompany me when walking him, but Syaoran was too weak to do it. I like walking Lele, it gives me a reason to stroll.

I don't like collecting wastes though-that's the bad part.

But other then that everything was pleasant. Syaoran played with Lele a lot. The dog has a lot of energy and wears Syaoran out easily, but nevertheless Lele loved Syaoran and Syaoran adored his puppy. The dog soon grew heavy and less cuddly-well, actually it was always cuddly. Just less small.

With a dog at home, it's hard to think of sad things anymore, expecially with a dog like Lele. He was always bursting with energy and had this kind of happiness in him. He never left Syaoran's side and always barked in worry when Syaoran left him.

" You know," Touya began one day, " Lele could make a very good seeing-eye dog."  
" Seeing-eye dog?" I blinked. " I guess, but Syaoran hardly goes out."  
" The kid needs exercise." Touya rolled his eyes as if it were that obvious. " He needs strength and getting cooped up at Eriol's house isn't helping."  
" What if he gets too tired halfway?"  
" Isn't that what seeing-eye dogs are for?" Touya pointed out. " Teach Lele to find a bench for Syaoran to rest for a while."

" I think that's a great idea." Syaoran told me, beaming all the while. " He's already pretty much of a seeing-eye dog already. Not a very good one-he nearly tripped me when trying to prevent me from tripping over a box. But he'll learn."  
" You think?" I laughed. " But how will you train him? You need a professional. He whines and causes hellery whenever he leaves your side."  
" I can train him. He understands Chinese."

I snorted. " Hai. Like he understands Chinese. Get over here, Lele."

No response. Lele just lied down at Syaoran's feet, not even raising his head.  
" Lele." Syaoran called. " Get up."

Lele immediately jumped to his feet, his tail wagging happily. Syaoran laughed.  
" Right in your face!" He cried, then fell into fits of coughing.

I brought him some water and he gulped it down.  
" Nanks."  
" Your welcome." I answered. " Don't laugh that much. There, you're coughing up blood again."  
" I am?" He wiped his mouth. " I thought this was water."  
" No." I looked at him. " Come on, let's get you something to eat. You need iron."

  
  
Later that night Syaoran woke up screaming hysterically.  
" Where is Father?!" He cried, and Lele whined pitifully.  
" He's in college, remember?" Eriol tried to calm him, rubbing circles along his back. " Don't worry, he'll be here soon."  
" Where is he?!" Syaoran cried, and for a moment I thought he would release that same fire that killed everyone in the van back in Hong Kong. " Where is he?! Where is my Father?!"  
" It is some dream he had." Kaho wrapped her arms around my cousin and rocked him steadily, as if nursing a terrified baby.  
" Otou-san-"  
" Shh, don't worry."  
" Lele, get off." I ordered. " Lele, get off. Leave your master alone."

This time the dog obeyed, although very reluctant. Syaoran was still sobbing.  
" You two can go." Kaho told Eriol and me. " I'll stay here and keep him quiet."  
" We'll figure out what's wrong tomorrow." Eriol told her. " Darn, I have school."  
" Otou-san?"  
" He'll be here Syaoran." Kaho assured him. I followed Eriol out, but when I reached the doorway I turned around and looked. Syaoran looked at me and our eyes met. Suddenly I was reminded of what things were and how they have been. Those eyes, staring back at me, filled with terror, and I could not tear my eyes away from them, just as Syaoran could not find whatever he was looking for. 


	20. Chapter 20 Yue

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 20-Yue

Two months later during the spring break I went home to find that Lele had grown up really quickly. The pup, once the size of a cat, is now the size of a...what can be referred? A horse colt would have been close, but that would be a little too big. Nevertheless Lele had grown quite big, and pampered, as I could see by the way he runs.

Kaho and Eriol told me about that night and how Syaoran had called for me.   
" The next morning he was fine again." Eriol told me. " I guess it was just some nightmare."

It made sense. Jingxi often called for me when he had a nightmare and when Yukito was in his room studying. I guess after I left he didn't have that many nightmares, but ever since he became blind he changed a lot.

Syaoran, thankfully, gained a few pounds ever since I brought Lele into his life. Sometimes I thought he could see me. There was an incident.

  
  
I was looking for my chain. It was a chain that Touya gave to me around five years ago on Yukito's birthday. That time we were fourteen and Touya told Yukito the strangest thing.  
" I think this chain might bring many surprises."

The chain did. Right after he gave it to Yukito Fujitaka found the Clow Book. I received lots of strange mail which I threw away. Yukito won first place at the competition at archery. He became nearsighted.

Hai, the chain brought many surprises, good and bad. But I kept it because Touya gave it to me in the name of friendship. I always had it with me. That day I didn't know where it went.

" If you're looking for that chain of yours," Jingxi suddenly said, " You shouldn't try the cupboard. It wouldn't be there. By the way, one of the cups are broken."

I didn't react to that and took down the broken cup. I went to the garbage can to throw it away.  
" Careful. Banana peel."

I looked down. There was a banana peel.  
" Who threw it there?" I asked.  
" I think Kero did." Syaoran answered. " I'm not sure. Someone who can fly. It's either Kero or Spinel."

I was just about to pick it up when something clicked in my head.  
" How did you know there was a banana peel?" I asked Syaoran.  
" Oh...ano..." Syaoran blushed. " I don't know."  
" Can you tell how many fingers I'm holding up?" I tested him.  
" Otou-san." Syaoran looked sad. " I can't see anything, Otou-san."  
" Just try."  
" I don't know. I can't see you or your hand. I just knew there was a banana peel. Maybe because I heard it being thrown to the ground, or smelled it or something."

I lowered my hand. Syaoran was blind. My son was blind.

Lele went over and licked Syaoran's hand, wanting to play. We stared at each other, Syaoran's eyes looking at mine as if he could see me. For a moment I wanted to believe that he actually did see me. But his eyes remained pale gray. Like mine. Only they weren't supposed to be pale gray. 

They were supposed to be amber!

I turned around and left without a word. Behind me, Jingxi was silent. I went to the living room and saw Sakura sitting with Xuyan and Eriol and Tomoyo.  
" Hey Yue." They smiled. ' What's wrong?"  
" Syaoran's blind." I answered, and I left them. Strange. It was almost like I finally realized for real that Syaoran will never see me again. Will never see what I bought for him for his birthday. He'll never know the color of whatever flowers there were or which fruit is the ripest. He'll never read the books I bought for him that he loved so much. Will never know where I am when I leave his side. He'll never know what time it is, what the night looks like, or whether there was a full moon. But I think what pained me the most was that Syaoran will never look at me again with the same eyes. His eyes are no longer amber and no longer seeing. Everytime his eyes fall upon me, they fall on something nonexistent to his mind.

  
  
Yukito was working in the kitchen when I heard a cello.

Wait. _Two_ cellos.

Outside in the living room Syaoran was teasing Xuyan warm heartedly about how scratchy his cello sounded now.  
" It's not the cello, it's you." Xuyan laughed, and I realized they switched cellos. " The way you're bowing now! Aii!"  
" Shizuka ni! My right hand isn't strong today." Syaoran shook his right hand. " And my left hand isn't flexible either. Your bow's slipping. Where's the rosin?"  
" I have a brand new bar. Do you have a key or something hard?" Xuyan asked.   
" It's...go ask Yukito-san."  
" Yukito!"

Yukito looked out. " Hai?"  
" Do you have anything hard that won't kill anyone?" Xuyan asked, referring to the knife I was holding.  
" Oh." I put down the knife. " You need a key, right?" I took out from my pocket some keys and tossed them to Xuyan. He started hammering it into a strange bar. I stopped and watched him with interest, and also at Syaoran, who seemed suddenly healthier. Of course he's healthier! He could play the cello now!

" What's taking you so long?" Syaoran asked empty air.  
" The rosin is tough." Xuyan answered. " There we go! Powder!"  
" Alright." Syaoran slide his bow on the bar. " There we go." He drew it on the string. " Yah! How did it get out of tune so quickly?"  
" It's a cello, mind you."  
" A lousy one too. I keep telling you your cello is lousy and you never listen. I hope that violin of yours is better."  
" Oh please."  
" In any case." Syaoran tried to turn the knob. " The C string is stuck! And the G string keeps on slipping!"  
" Here, let me help. Geez, your hands are weak, eh?" Xuyan laughed. " Oof. There we go. No! Not back. Ai-" He twisted the knob again, then hammered it in with his fist. " There we go. Now for that G string-"  
" Hold on." Syaoran plucked. " Too sharp."  
" Deal with it."  
" No!"  
" Fine." Xuyan turned it again. " Pluck."  
" Sharp."  
" Now."  
" Perfect. You hammer it in and I'll use the fine tuning."  
" I'm going to need rosin for the G string. Why is it so slippery?"  
" You're asking me? It's _your_ cello."  
" Must be the stupid weather outside. I hate rainy days."  
" The cello joins your club."

Yukito chuckled.

Suddenly, Syaoran seemed to notice I was there.  
" Otou-san, they're having a concert at Kami Hall. Can I go? Onegai? Please?"  
" Please?" Xuyan begged along with Syaoran.

" Well..." Yukito was a little bit startled. " What is going on there?"  
" It's a piano concerto. The director of the whole thing invited me over." Syaoran answered. " She said I could take four friends with me."  
" You can go...but wait, when is the concert?"  
" Ah...March 31st."  
" The day before Sakura's birthday." I mused. " You can go. I can't because I have to go meet a friend outside Tomoeda.  
" Nani?" Syaoran looked dismayed. " Then...then I won't go."  
" Nonsense!" I patted his head. " You can go with Sakura and Xuyan. Eriol, maybe, and perhaps Tomoyo, unless Touya wants to go too."  
" But-"  
" Come along now. I want you to go. Maybe regain some of your spirit." I chuckled. " Here you go." Handing him a chocolate bar I patted his shoulder and turned around. Lele suddenly rose and went over to Syaoran's side.

  
  
That made me stop. I had noticed that Lele had been acting strange lately, and so did Syaoran. And it wasn't strange as in evil and malevolent kind of strange. It was more sort of...

Queer.

The dog started draggin Syaoran up the stairs by the sleeve, and whenever Syaoran tripped the dog acted as a cushion. For some reason Syaoran did not complain.

" Lele-" He stumbled again and Lele cushioned him.  
" What the heck is that dog doing?" Xuyan asked.  
" Dunno." Syaoran said in Cantonese. " He wants me to go upstairs."

???

  
  
" No mask."  
" Oh please!"  
" No no no no no!"

I chuckled at the children. What are they arguing about this time?

" No no no no no. I won't wear that mask."  
" Fine. I will. At least you can wear the vest."  
" The vest?"  
" And the hat. Come on, don't wear that stupid green outfit! Wear something red! It's Chinese New Year for heaven's sake."  
" I don't have a lot of...red things."  
" I know who does."  
" Who?"

I heard Xuyan flipping through the address book.  
" Xuyan...NO!"  
" Moshi moshi, may I speak with Tomoyo please?"  
" No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO-"  
" Ohayo Tomoyo! Do you think you'll be able to make a costume for dear old Syaoran?"  
" Xuyan, No!"  
" Good. Something with a dragon on it? And maybe a Phoenix if you want. It has to be red. Hai. You know what to do. Hai, hai, hai, hai. Perfect. Domo arigatou! Ja!"  
" Xuyan!"  
" Stop whining, Jingxi. Good heavens, grow up."  
" She'll make something that looks like a mushroom."

There was a pause.  
" A mushroom on Chinese New Year?" Xuyan snorted. " That's unheard of!"  
" Hmph. Why did it have to be in March?" Syaoran grumbled. " It's usually in February."  
" March sounds better. It's the beginning of Spring."  
" More like the middle." Syaoran grumbled again. " It is bad enough you insist on making dumplins by hand."  
" What's wrong with that?"  
" My palm always gets tired. And we have to make the filling too. I want chicken with mushroom."  
" Pork."  
" Chicken."  
" Pork."  
" Chicken, Xuyan."  
" Pork!"  
" How many people are eating this?"  
" Why can't we just do all different stuff?"  
" Seventy different fillings! Are you mad?"  
" Let's see. We can have pork with cucumber-"  
" Cucumber!"  
" Come on, grow up Syaoran."  
" Please, I hate that kind of taste. It's so sour."

I chuckled silently to myself. This is funny.  
" Come along." I smiled at them. " Don't argue over these things. We can have pork and chicken. Maybe duck, beef, venison."  
" Venison?" Syaoran cocked his head. " I never tasted venison."  
" This guy tasted frog meat and dog meat and never tasted venison."  
" You tasted dog meat?" I blinked.  
" Elgh..." Syaoran looked timid. " I was four! I didn't even know it was dog meat. I was somewhere east in China."  
" Of course he didn't. Stupid bastard ate everything he sees."  
" Oh please."

I swallowed. " Well, I'll tell you venison tastes very much like...something I can't remember."

Syaoran threw me this look that clearly suggested I did not make sense. But what really struck me was how much he looked like before when he was still able to see.

" We can have cabbage."  
" Duh." Xuyan answered.  
" Lettuce, maybe some shrimp-"  
" The little ones?"  
" Of course. I can't chop up the big ones! It's bad enough with their shells. You also have to clean their intestines out. Elgh! And I can't see the intestines anymore."  
" Cucumber."  
" No cucumber."  
" Cucumber."  
" Fine. Whatever. Eggs, peas,"  
" Why not sesame?"  
" Sesame?"  
" Why not?"  
" Fine. You can make the sesame filling."  
" You make the eggs and peas."  
" The dough?"  
" The dough! We'll make the dough together. It's not hard."

They began switching to Chinese again.  
" Who should be here?"  
" Sakura and Touya, no doubt. Maybe Fujitaka. Kaho, Eriol, Nakuru, Spinel, Kero. We'll have to make a lot for those two. Yamazaki and Chiharu, Rika, Jitoshi, Yugi, who else?"  
" Who else? What are you asking me for?" Xuyan blinked. " I went away for a year."  
" Alright. Mimi is nice."  
" Where are we going to have this? It's a lot of people."  
" Where do you think? If you want Tomoyo to make me a costume, we'll go over to her place! Daidouji is away for two more months after New Year."

Xuyan looked at Syaoran.  
" We're going to have to write a lot of invitations." He said. 


	21. Chapter 21 Nakuru

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 21-Nakuru

On Chinese New Year Eve we went after school to Tomoyo's mansion where Syaoran and Xuyan were already preparing dough and fillings. Perhaps it was because Syaoran sensed something so he was making this as grand as possible.

Many kids there haven't seen him in a long while and were slightly shocked to find him so thin and pale. The atmosphere was...cheery. That's the only way I can describe it, now that I think of it. We went there and there were lanterns all over the place, but the actual light bulbs were not on. It was magnificent.

" This is better then I can ever plan." Tomoyo giggled at Sakura. " We sure saw a lot of interesting things when those two minds start working together."  
" Pity." Eriol whispered to me. " If those two had worked together from the beginning, maybe Syaoran would be well by now."  
" It's not too late." I answered. But Eriol was silent.

It was a traditional Chinese New Year, I think, with a little twist to it. There was wine, ( mostly grape juice with around point one percent of alcohol) soda, chicken. Oranges were there too, as well as fried crabs, fried shrimp, sushi, juice and fresh water. There were lots of fish-Yukito and Xuyan cooked them because Syaoran can't protect himself from the splashes of oil. There were many different dishes, cookies, desserts. It was fabulous.

The only thing that's missing happened to be dumplins.

So before we ate, while Xuyan and Yukito cooked the dishes, everybody took their share in making the dumplins. Some made the dough into smooth pancakes, ready to be filled. Some filled the dumplins. Touya offered to boil and fry them. Syaoran had to teach it to all of us, with Xuyan helping because he can't tell us if we were doing it right or not.

It turned out, the guy from Syaoran's middle school, Jitoshi, was the worst at making dumplins themselves, so he changed to making the cover. Sakura was very good at filling the dumplins and so was Tomoyo. Eriol was good at filling but worse then Fujitaka. Chiharu was better at the dough.

It was fun. We all laughed and talked and played with dough, able to rest because others can subsitute since we don't make them all at the same time.

" Now you can all go home and make dumplins yourselves!" Syaoran joked, and Jitoshi elbowed him good humoredly.  
" As if!" Mimi laughed. She was a nice girl, she wasn't the witch-a regular school girl with black hair and dark eyes. " You never told us the filling!"  
" You can make your own combination." Syaoran threatened to wack her. " This one has pork. This one has chicken. This one has beef. What more do you want?"  
" Add some shrimp."  
" Shizuka ni." We all laughed.

  
  
We were eating finally, after having a great deal of fun. Syaoran disappeared and I offered to go look for him. I found him in the hall, huddled against the wall.  
" Syaoran-kun?" I blinked. " What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

He raised his head. " Nakuru-san?"  
" Syaoran, it's Chinese New Year. Why are you crying?"

He wiped his eyes and got to his feet. " Because it's Chinese New Year." He said bitterly.

I cocked my head. " What do you mean?"  
" It's all wrong!" The child sobbed. " I can't see you and I can't see anyone else. Before in Japan I use to call back to Hong Kong on Chinese New Year. We use to wish each other good luck...but now there's no one there, and, and-"  
" Your family is gone." I noticed quietly, understanding his distress.  
" It's not fair!" Syaoran sobbed. " It's...supposed to be a time when a family gathers together-kind of like one of those family reunions or-or-" He choked and threw himself into my arms.

I swallowed. Even on such a day as this there is still despair. Can Syaoran ever be free from it?

" I can't even see anything." He sobbed. " I can't see the dragons, I can't see the oranges, the good luck charms, the red envelopes. All I see is...darkness and...nothing else. Just darkness, and it was as if all the sounds and all the feelings and all the smells and tastes came from far away, and I'm not even sure if I'm awake or not. It's as if I was apart from the world."

I closed my eyes and held him close as he sobbed into my shoulder. Yue came in behind me and saw us.

_What's wrong?_ He mouthed, a look of concern crossing his eyes. I shook my head.

  
  
The orchestra was a total mess. Syaoran recovered from his distress rather quickly and although he seemed sad that Yukito was gone, he wasted no time making fun of the orchestra with Xuyan and Eriol, much to our distress. Touya would have gone if he wasn't with Yukito. Fujitaka was on a business trip and Kaho had to go out somewhere, ( she doesn't tell us anything), so I had to go as a supervisor.

Sakura and I had absolutely no clue whatsoever about what was wrong with the orchestra or the piano. Syaoran took one look at the piano and muttered to Eriol,  
" A Yamaha."

That dropped the dignity and quality of the concert about fifty percent all by itself. Then he took a look at the conductor. A nameless being. Syaoran had no clue where he came from and neither did Eriol, and as for Xuyan, the old Chinese stayer wouldn't bother remembering.

Syaoran later explained to me what was wrong.

" First of all, they were out of tune. All the violins are sharp. The rest of the strings are in tune. The flutes are sharp, the oboe is flat, the brass are flatter."

I don't know. I can't tell.

" Then you have the piano, which is not in tune with the orchestra, or with itself-"  
" How can that be possible?" I asked.

Then Eriol explained to me about the construction of the piano-which he never told me before.  
" Each piano has eighty-eight keys." He said. " The top notes are less deep, so every note has three strings to it, which has to be tuned to the exact same pitch in order to sound right. The middle section has two strings, both exactly the same pitch, and the bottom notes have these extremely thick strings that look like-"  
" Springs that got squashed."  
" Ano...hai," Eriol blinked at Xuyan. " So that gives you over a hundred strings in a piano all by itself, much more than a harp, which also has many strings."  
" The pitch isn't in tune, the piano isn't in tune, the instruments aren't in tune with each other," Syaoran laughed. " Luckily, none of us have perfect pitch. Otherwise, we'll go nuts."  
" Perfect pitch?" I asked.  
" It's when the person memorizes the sound of the notes." Eriol laughed. " Trust me, it's an advantage and a curse." I asked no more questions about that.

" The piece is really good." Xuyan told me. " After all, most pieces that come down to modern times are pretty good, because the lousy ones get-"  
" Crumpled."  
" Ano...right," Xuyan blinked at Eriol. " But besides the out of tune part, the orchestra fell apart with itself. The violins went running one way, the woodwinds the other-"  
" And the percussion section skipped a page or so." Eriol added.  
" Really?" Syaoran blinked.  
" Hai."  
" In any case," Xuyan continued, " The conductor was stupid enough to conduct without his music-"  
" But fortunately the orchestra came back together, running with the violins," Syaoran laughed, " But then-"  
" The orchestra and the _pianist_ fell apart."  
" The pianist went one way," Eriol elbowed Xuyan, " And the orchestra went another."  
" It's really hard to conduct without music and when the music is coming from behind you." Syaoran said.  
" It went on for several measures all the way until the end, where the pianist ended after the orchestra-"  
" Which wasn't supposed to happen in the Romantic period-"

I blinked. Well, that's what we get with getting along with musicians. Sakura and I looked at each other and we suddenly began laughing.

" What's so funny?" Syaoran asked.  
" You three are like the Three Stooges." I wiped my eyes. ( I can't spell today)  
" Stooges?" Xuyan blinked.  
" I prefer Musketeers." Eriol joked. The three of them laughed. 


	22. Chapter 22 Sakura

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 22-Sakura

April First was my birthday and I had totally forgotten about it. In truth, I think thirteen year olds weren't suppose to forget their birthdays-it's usually when you're around sixty or so when you absolutely _don't want to get older._

Nevertheless, I totally forgot about my birthday, so when I went home that Monday I was met with a huge surprise.

The house was completely decorated, and how they managed to do that without me knowing I do not know. Oni-chan was there with Yukito-san, who was in his true form, as well as Chiharu, Rika, Noako, Yamazaki, Xuyan, Eriol, Nakuru, Spinel, and Kaho. Syaoran was there of course, and when I came home it was almost as if he had the best time of his life.

Birthdays became less important nowadays because I found out many things I use to enjoy were not as interesting anymore. I was perfectly content to sit and talk with my friends. In this case we were talking about old times and Syaoran, blindly, was explaining how we caught the first card together-Thunder.

" She wanted to use Windy." Syaoran poked me, and how he managed to find me I do not know. " Stupid baka! Windy against Thunder! Luckily, she had the Shadow Card, and I told her to use it. First I used my own light attack and blew Thunder back. Then she used the Shadow."  
" Now she turned out to be a better card wielder than you are!" Eriol laughed. " So don't go nuts with that."  
" Windy for Thunder." Xuyan laughed at me. " What nonsense!"  
" Shizuka ni!" I protested. " I was an amateur!"  
" An amateur." Syaoran laughed.  
" It's true, you know." Tomoyo pointed out. " I'd say Sakura did a pretty good job, coping with _your_ personality."

This caused Syaoran to blush and we all started laughing at him.

" Yeah, you can't forget about that!" Oni-chan laughed. " I never did get back at you for hurting my imotou!"  
" Oh _that_ again!" Syaoran huffed. " I _would_ challenge you to a glaring contest yet again if I still have my glare."  
" Trust me," Eriol suddenly looked like a naughty child. " Your eyes are painful enough to look at without that glare."  
" Oh really? Maybe I should get contacts. Then at least I look like a sight-seeing person."  
" Hai, right, and make your glare more noticeable? What color would you get?" Xuyan played along.  
" Red. To scare your guts out."  
" Yeah right, I wouldn't be scared!"  
" Would too!"  
" Would not!"  
" Would too!"  
" Would not!"  
" Stop it you two!" Kaho was laughing very hard now. " You're acting like five year olds!"

Syaoran pulled his legs underneath him and hopped up. " What's wrong with acting like a five year old?"

We laughed yet again.

" Seriously," Yamazaki wiped his eyes, " You need to calm down. Your voice is getting hoarse!"  
" It's been hoarse all this morning." Syaoran smiled. " Don't worry about it. What time is it? I'm for food. Where is Otou-san and Oni-chan?"  
" Where else?" Oni-chan poked his head out from the kitchen. " We're the ones that are cooking!"  
" I would help, if the oil doesn't splash into my eyes." Syaoran muttered.  
" I'll go."  
" I'll go."  
" Iie, you stay, I'll go."  
" Why are you arguing with _me_ now?" Eriol asked Xuyan. We all laughed.

" I'm for snacks then. Where are all your snacks?" Syaoran called into the kitchen. Something got tossed out and Eriol caught it.  
" Ah...weird chips," Eriol blinked. " Here you go."  
" Elgh, chips." Syaoran shook his head. " Oh well."  
" You don't like chips?"  
" I use to. I don't like them anymore. They use tons of oil and salt and yucky stuff."

All of the sudden, _I _don't like chips anymore.  
" I'll get some water." I said.  
" Sure." Syaoran answered. I went to the kitchen and got the pitcher, then brought it to the living room.

  
  
How it started I have absolutely no clue, but both Nakuru and Syaoran started to make fun of Kero.  
" Cerberus was a three-headed dog! Haha! Now we have an eagle winged cat!"  
" I'm not a cat! I'm a fierce lion!" Kero tried his best to look dignified.

It didn't work very well.

" Harry Potter stole that idea from the Greeks." Eriol laughed. " What was that dog's name anyway?"  
" The dog whose mouth waters?" Syaoran blinked. " I forgot. What was that dog's name?"  
" Fluffy." Kaho answered, and we started laughing.  
" Kero fluffy-chan!" Chiharu joked. Kero did not like it.  
" I am not Fluffy!" He cried.  
" Is it because of Cerberus that you named Kero that?" Syaoran asked.  
" Most likely." Eriol answered. " I kind of forgot."  
" You are evil." Kero answered, and we all laughed again. Syaoran rubbed his eyes a little and leaned back.  
" I'm hungry!!" He yelled. Of course, we were all very pleased, considering Syaoran was once anorexic.

Of course Oni-chan and Yukito did not appreciate that since they were the ones cooking.

  
  
The time for opening presents had come after dinner, which was fantastic because Rika was also cooking and Tomoyo had helped. I started with Chiharu's, which was also Rika's and Noako's. It was a beautiful picture frame, gold in color and finely decorated. Inside was a picture of the five of us; Rika, Noako, Chiharu, Tomoyo, and me.  
" Just so when you have some other magician busting," Chiharu chirped, " You'll remember-"  
" The quintet."  
" Shut up Syaoran." Yamazaki elbowed him.  
" Arigatou!" I laughed, hugging my friends. " This will definitely be on my desk." Next to the Clow group's, of course.

The next one came from Eriol, Nakuru, and Spinel, which was a locket.  
" Hopefully you wouldn't have too little room around your neck," Eriol pointed out my key. " I think you can spare some, eh?"

Yamazaki gave me a watch. This watch was different from Yukito's watch because first of all it isn't pink and second it isn't digital. Syaoran wanted to know what it looked like and of course we had a hard time.  
" It's round,"  
" It has a nice strap-"  
" What color?" Syaoran asked.  
" Uh...a mixture of red and purple."  
" What shade?"

Not the most exciting.

Xuyan gave me a crystal cube with a small flower inside, ( " Not a real flower, mind you" he said) and a small hummingbird, which wasn't real either. It was a lovely little thing and I thought it was the best out of all things so far, although I didn't say it. It must have costed quite a lot. But Xuyan was sweet.

Tomoyo gave me a dress. It's natural for a tailor like her to give me clothes, considering that it was all she ever gave me the past few years during the card capturing seasons. This dress, luckily, was actually a normal one, not a kimono but something I can wear that looks casual yet " astonishing", as Tomoyo said.

  
Yukito and Kero gave me an extremely beautiful wooden miniature chest, which would rightly be called a jewelry box except it didn't say it on the cover.   
" You're growing." Yukito pointed out. " You'll find yourself buying a lot of jewelry."  
" She already buys a lot of jewelry." Oni-chan said.

Of course I had the satisfaction of stamping on his foot on my birthday.

Afterwards it was the gift from Oni-chan and Otou-san, my father being ever thoughtful, gave me this elaborate diary.  
" For record." Otou-san said. Oni-chan agreed. " I have a feeling you have a lot to write about." Indeed, our other book got filled, so this is the book we're writing this chapter in. And all of the following chapters, of course.

I kept Syaoran's gift for the last because I had an odd feeling about it. It wasn't a feeling that I will absolutely love and adore that gift as most romantic stories tell. It was more of a feeling that this gift will be extremely important to me in the future. I still can't quite put my finger on it.

It was a simple jade. Plain and simple, no curvings, no strings attached, just a smooth, polished piece of jade. We all looked at Syaoran in confusion.  
" Arigatou, Syaoran-kun." I started.  
" Don't thank me yet." Syaoran answered suddenly, and he hesitated a long moment before starting again.

" When I was young I always heard that my father disappeared somewhere. There were no stories about him dying or such things like that. They always told me that he disappeared, that he disappeared. One day my grandmother bought me this jade when I was around five years old. It always had some kind of good luck thing to it-I never was physically wounded by falling or things like that. I took it to every cello competition and to every concert. Every time I train in martial arts I took it with me. At night I'd pray for my father to return."

I swallowed suddenly. This crude jade had so much meaning to it all of the sudden. Yue suddenly looked uncomfortable. He was about to speak, but Syaoran continued on.

" Now that my otou-san is back," His blind eyes looked directly at mine, as if he could see me, " I don't need to pray for him any longer. I don't need that good luck or protection." He took my hand into his and squeezed it affectionately. " I want you to have it. I want it to serve you like it had served me. Make you successful. I want you to keep it safe like I did. You will need it, trust me."

For a long moment I could find no words to say, and even when I did I could not say them because there was too much to say at that time and I could not find any courage to display what little gratitude I could place out of all the gratitude I felt. 


	23. Chapter 23 Spinel

The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 23-Spinel

April 2, at 12:00 a.m., Syaoran lost his voice.

It was almost a smooth thing, a necessary event that must occur right then and there. If Syaoran felt any fear or despair he certainly did not show it. In fact, he hardly seemed surprised at all.

Whether it had any connection to the card Xuyan sent him we have little doubt. Syaoran suddenly spent most of his time at the cello. None of us knew why, but he played a different piece every day, perfecting it at night starting from morning and playing it again and again until he had to go to bed. He first started with his oldest pieces, lining the notes on the manuscript with magic so he could sense where they are and play them. Then he gradually moved up until his last and final cello sonata. After that he went to preludes and impromptus.

He would listen to CD's. So many CD's, Bach, Beethoven, Schumann, Telemann, and even pieces that were not for cello. This he did for several weeks, about ninety pieces each day. Then he began playing piano trios, cello and violin duetts, and even concertos with Eriol-sama.

  
  
Sakura wanted to give the jade back to Syaoran. Syaoran would not have that.  
" He's right." Yue told Sakura. " You should have it."

Sakura couldn't understand why Syaoran was doing this. None of us could either.

" But look at him!" She cried.  
" It's fate." Yue said sadly.

Fate failed us.

Sometime later the wizards and witches showed up but they brought little hope.

" Alas, it has happened at last." Sarah said to Syaoran. Syaoran only nodded.  
" Who could have known?" Mimi said sympathetically, " In the end Destiny always wins."

Destiny. Day and night, you would find Syaoran crying. It wasn't one of those noisy ones that keep you up at night, cursing and fuming. It was one of those quiet, silent, deeply sorrowing ones that you could not bear watching. Not that Syaoran cared though.

It seemed things could not get any worse.

  
  
Things did get better after a while. Syaoran kept his daily routine of listening to music. He wasn't so crazy about it after a while, and sometimes asks me to read him stories from the books. I read to him works by Tolkien and Chinese authors the best I could, such as the Dream of Red Mansions and The Journey to the West.

Syaoran liked the Journey to the West and I did too, although he claimed that my Chinese was as horrible as his English ( a big insult on my part). It was basically about this magic rock on a mountain called Flower Fruit Mountain. ( Huaguoshan, since it sounds better, so we'll just call it Mt. Huaguo). After many events the stone exploded and touched the wind, so out came a Stone Monkey. This monkey learned the ways of monkeys, ( crawling, climbing, etc.) and became great friends with many animals on Mt. Huaguo.

Up in Heaven, ( this is a story for Buddhists) the Jade Emperor, ( Yu Huang Da Di, but that doesn't sound right in English) noticed that there was this weird being on Earth, so he asked a guy who can see a thousand leagues afar and a guy who can listen to any sounds brought by the wind to inspect what the heck is down there. Of course that turned out to be the crazy monkey, so the Jade Emperor thought that he would just leave this weird thing alone. 

The monkey, ( so far nameless) was having a lot of fun with his monkey friends when they came to a waterfall. The monkeys said that whoever was brave enough and strong enough to go into the waterfall and come out again, would be made their " King". So this Stone Monkey volunteered. Behind the waterfall was a cave, with all life furniture in it, ( although they were made of stone; stone beds, stone chairs, stone tables, stone thrones, so it must have been quite uncomfortable. Hey, they were monkeys, what do they care? It ought to be better than trees, right?) So the Stone Monkey came out again and became " Mei Hou Wang" or literally, " Pretty Monkey King".

Of course, there came a time of merrymaking when King Pretty felt really sad. The monkeys, of course, asked him what was the matter, and he said that one day he would grow old and he was upset about that. ( the truth is it was much deeper, but you get the point. ) The monkeys said he should go in exile and look for a way to become immortal. King Pretty went in exile and learned the ways of Man. He came across a woodcutter who spoke an immortal phrase. This woodcutter showed him the domain of a very wise and powerful immortal, free from even the ties of the Lord Buddha himself. ( See what I mean by Buddhists?) so King Pretty got a name there, Wukong Sun, ( In truth the name had a meaning but even Syaoran didn't know what it was, so how should I?) Wukong Sun trained with this immortal for around seven years before the immortal decided to teach him a trade. His trades were all for mortals and Mr. Sun didn't like any of them and refused to learn them. Mr. Immortal pretended to be angry but was actually pleased, so he used a code, ( if knocking on your head three times and walking with your hand behind your back is considered a code to regular ' sane' people) to tell Wukong to go to his chamber at night.  
  
So for the next ten years or so Wukong learned seventy-two transformations and a weird type of jump that can carry him a distance of either a hundred and eight thousand miles or leagues, ( Chinese use very weird measurements.) and with that the stupid monkey, ( who in truth was nowhere near stupid) decided to show off. His master didn't like it, kicked him out, and Wukong went back to Mt. Huaguo. There demons captured the place and Wukong with his powers kicked them out. ( I think that's where Donkey Kong came from. Wu Kong, Donkey Kong, get it?) King Pretty showed off his powers. And who do you think saw it? The Big guy up in Heaven. The Jade Emperor.

I know. I'm talking like Kero. But personally I think this book is the funniest thing ever written. A monkey that knows martial arts. How many commercials used that theme? So anyways. Emperor Yu, or the Jade Emperor, asked what the heck is going on down there, and the officials said that there is a monkey that is creating chaos down there. Well, not really chaos, but they had reason to worry that he will. Venus, ( who is _not_ the lovely Aphrodite but in fact an old man) suggested to give him a fake position in Heaven so they can have control over it. The Emperor was delighted. Of went old Venus into Mt. Huaguo and Wukong decided he liked the offer, not knowing the whole story, and he went with Venus to Heaven.

They gave him the position of keeping horses. Wukong was good at this, but he thought it was a great position, being a monkey and knowing no better. When he realized he had absolutely no power, he got angry and went back to Mt. Huaguo. The Jade Emperor got scared and tried to fight him into resignation, but old Monkey wouldn't have that. He was too powerful and had too much ability. He even gave himself a position, The Great Sage of Heaven, although he was nowhere near being a sage at all. Of course, the Emperor got mad, but old Venus decided to let him have the position but no power, so old Monkey was fooled again. Wukong went to heaven, and spent most of his time wandering about with nothing to do. The Emperor gave him a position of guardian a peach garden. 

This is the funny part. Chinese think monkeys like peaches. In truth monkeys like everything. But Chinese think monkeys like peaches, and it actually came from this story. Wukong saw so many huge peaches, there were around twelve hundred of them, and if you eat one from different sections it gives you a different blessing. Wukong ate all the ripe peaches. Then there was this party with the Empress, and she was having a sort of peach festival. Fairies came over to the peach garden and found that there were only the smallest peaches left. Wukong found out he wasn't invited to the party and totally screwed it up. Then he stole all the food, ( including the peaches) and went back to Mt. Huaguo. Now the Jade Emperor was angry. They had a knight fight him and they sort of cheated a little because the knight couldn't defeat him, so they threw a circlet down and hit Wukong on the head. Wukong was captured, brought to heaven to have a trial, they tried to kill him but couldn't and he escaped and caused chaos all over Heaven. I think they should have left him alone, but anyways. The Jade Emperor called Father Buddha, ( there were many buddhas, and all except one are fat and bald. Father Buddha is supposed to be the first guy that came from India, however you spell his name.) Father Buddha played a game of betting with Wukong. He said if Wukong could jump out of his hand then all of Heaven's residents will be removed to the West and Wukong will live there with his monkeys. ( I forgot to mention that Father Buddha is _huge._) But if Wukong could not, then he will be punished. Wukong that he had a lot of ability. Naturally, he couldn't win over Father Buddha, so he got imprisoned under a mountain.

  
  
This alone took around seven chapters before I stopped reading it to Syaoran and Xuyan took over. It's mighty hard to read-kind of like Homer and his Iliad and that sort, the language I mean. In any case. Syaoran had a lot of fun, I didn't, because I had to read Chinese.

  
  
Kaho decided, quite frankly one day, to go to Russia. Why the heck would she want to do that I have no idea. Eriol and Kaho had no ties to any Russians and we have no reason to go there, as lovely as the subways might be. So she left our group and went. Yukito and Touya two days earlier already went back to college. Nakuru went with Kaho. They were supposed to be back within three weeks or so.

The house was rather quiet for a while because for a while no one came over. Syaoran seemed to enjoy the quiet although he never told me. He spent most of his time in his room with the window wide open. Without Nakuru's chatter it was mostly peaceful.

Then, two weeks after Kaho and Nakuru left, the wizards came back again. Or rather, Mimi and a boy named Si Pyung.

Syaoran seemed to be expecting them because while we were all freaked out, ( meaning Eriol, Xuyan and me), Syaoran welcomed them as warmly as his silence could welcome. Si Pyung seemed to know his plight and guided Syaoran to a couch, letting him sit down.

" What brings you here?" Eriol asked the question that was in all of our minds.  
" We're actually here to bring Syaoran to the Hall of Wizards." Mimi answered. " Sarah and the old man thinks that it might slow things a little."  
" Slow what?" Xuyan asked.

They didn't answer straight away. " Oh, the end." Si Pyung answered. " By the way, you might want Yukito and Touya to come home and stay home in a couple of months. After all, they can always go back to college later."

We were all drawing ten thousand question marks in our brains because we had no clue what was going on. Syaoran, on the other hand, remained quiet and calm. White though he was, he did not show any signs of tension or fear.

" Is he going to go alone?" I asked.  
" Oh, if you're worrying that we're not going to bring him back," Mimi chuckled, " Alright, one of you can come with him. Preferably someone small."

What she meant was either me or Kero. Things got very interesting there. 


	24. Chapter 24 Eriol

The Disease that Killed Love

Final Chapter 24- Eriol

Spinel was right. Things did get interesting. Mostly because when Mimi limited it to the little guys, we faced a pretty big problem that lasted until Nakuru and Kaho came back.

Both wanted to go with Syaoran.

Neither wanted to leave their masters.

So what resulted was a huge argument between Kero and Spinel. If Syaoran had known about this, he would be laughing in that silent way of his until he doubles over and his stomach explodes from the pressure.

Kero wanted to go with Syaoran as much as Spinel and the rest of us do. The problem was he wanted Sakura to be with him and that was not to be. Spinel did not want to leave my household when he realized there were very few books in that realm which he could understand. We all know his love of books.

Both wanted to go with the witch and wizard for the food.

Both want at least _some _sunlight.

Knowing them, Sakura and I decided that we should not let them settle it among themselves because neither one would yeild. So we agreed to separate the two and discuss it ourselves, without the guardians at all.

Tomoyo thought that Kero was a good choice because he has a talent of lifting spirits. Xuyan disagreed. He said that Kero also had a disagreeable temper and right now Syaoran is extremely sensitive. I thought Spinel would be unhappy in the wizard's realm because he could not pass his time with his favorite activity. Sakura thought Spinel would enjoy the food and thought Kero needed to go on a diet.

  
  
This dilemma went on until Kaho and Nakuru came back from their trip with another sorceror named Sergei Lukiechkov. He was a tall man, around thirty years old that would have passed for an albino if he had any genetic problem. Indeed, his hair was white, his skin was whiter, but his eyes were dark blue instead of pink. He was a rather pleasant looking man, a little to the lanky side but extremely strong.

Not to mention he is the descendant of Clow's best friends.

When Kaho heard our problem she started laughing.  
" It's definetely Spinel." She said. Then she told us why.  
" Sakura and Eriol both have two guardians. One of Sakura-san's guardians went to college. Eriol has both guardians, which means he could sacrifice one of them and still be safe in case something goes wrong. If Kero goes away and Sakura's alone with trouble, she'll have no guardian to protect her."

So it was decided. Spinel should go with Syaoran.

  
  
After Jingxi left with the wizards and Spinel, Sergei told us the exact same thing the witch told us.  
" Tell that Moon guardian to come back as soon as he can." He said.  
" Why?" I asked.

To this Sergei did not answer. " It is necessary that he should be with Syaoran now." He said. " If you want to part without regret."

  
  
I was use to being able to know everything and keep secrets from everyone else. But this time I had absolutely no clue what he was trying to tell me.

  
  
Nevertheless, Sakura and I wrote a letter to Yukito-san and told him to come back as quickly as possible and to stay here as long as possible. We also told him that the wizards took Jingxi away to their world for a reason unknown to us. Although the letter had been urgent, Yukito did not come back right away. Whether it was because he didn't have time to read it or because he was held back he never told us. 

He came back the night before Syaoran came back with Spinel. There was a great change in Syaoran. He seemed stronger, probably because of the food. He looked much more happy. As for Spinel, I can only say he had gained a lot of weight. Which wouldn't have been a bad thing if it interfered with his flying, which it did.

  
  
One day I came home from school to find my home smelling of sweet herbs.

It was actually Xuyan. The other year Sakura had performed the spell with the cards that created the silk bag filled with something mysterious. That bag was never opened because Xuyan wasn't there.

Perhaps Spinel and Nakuru showed Xuyan the bag and Xuyan was the talisman. So when Tomoyo and I came home we found Syaoran up and around, seeming quite strong. He was still blind, and mute, but he seemed energized and we were all pleased.

What they did with that silk bag Xuyan and the guardians never told me. That same day Yue went out with Sergei to a place neither of them told us. I had a suspicion they went to the Prophetic Cave. Whatever Sergei made of it he did not tell us. He only murmured something about " going in circles."

That night Yue and Syaoran went out. They never told us what they were doing but I think they were flying. Syaoran wanted to go out. I could understand. I couldn't understand why they were starting to keep secrets from me. From Sakura.

George, Mimi, and Si Pyung visited often.

" Glad to see that _something_ was working," George grinned at Syaoran, who couldn't see him.  
" Thanks." Syaoran said in English or rather, mouthed. George chuckled.  
" Well, King of the Dead!" He said to Xuyan.  
" It seems the future looks brighter." Si Pyung wrapped his arms around Jingxi's thin shoulders. " See?  
_  
In the end,  
Come to cherish in the sun and  
Wake in the morn so now  
Be brave,  
For the night is not yet come to pass,  
The moon has not risen and the sun not set  
Whence the wind comes?  
Blowing softly never falter  
Listen closely to its words.._

A ma ne, je ni ke dou  
Sei na ye, lehuinei,  
Ya sufa, gona misha  
Shala teya fei tu ka?  
A ma sei sa lai tu mei fou douke re ma la tu ka,  
Tuk in mila fa, fa su pei..."

I started at the song. It was the song that I sang to Syaoran in that cave a year ago. Syaoran seemed to start too. Si Pyung, heedless, went on.

_" Let the sun,  
Rise as it will glory find,  
Courage mourning deep in sorrow,  
Courage,  
Night may not be as dark as day,  
Clouds may not be as gray,  
Whence the wind comes?  
Blowing softly never falter,  
Listen closely to its words..._

Shi ma ye, Sai ne yie dou  
Mou laka te yi sale,  
En shale, ante lama  
Fro leyei me se tika.  
Shala teya fei tu ka?  
A ma sei sa lai tu mei fou douke re ma la tu ka,  
Tuk in mila fa, fa su pei..."

The same trance that fell upon Syaoran before fell upon him now and he slowly sank to the ground like a lifeless doll.  
" Did you have to murmur that?" Mimi snapped. " The Dragon falls asleep that way! It's the lullaby!"  
" Gomen." Si Pyung mumbled. " How am I supposed to know?"  
" Now he's asleep." George lifted Syaoran easily. " I'll carry him upstairs."  
" Sure." Si Pyung looked up pleasantly. " Greetings, Sergei."  
" Greetings." Sergei answered, quite amused. " So you do exist."

The wizards and witch seemed to find this amusing.  
" It seems like it is the same everywhere." Mimi laughed.  
" Hai!" The two boys agreed. " What fun!"

End of Book II 


End file.
